Sunday, November 30, 2008

"OH BOO" MOMENT 112908

if this were silver and about ten times messier it would be my hair. no lie.

about six or so years ago i was complaining to my neighbor, ma, about not being able to tame my hair so she sent a bottle of this to me. not really realizing what it was for i began using it and it tamed my hair down to soft and shiny ringlets. after awhile i thought, "where can i find some more?" so i went looking for it.

lo and behold i found it at walmart! in the black hair care section! "who cares?!?", was my first thought and then, "heayyyyyyy, what was ma thinking?"

...oh boo...

ah, but there's more:

this past weekend while i was washing pop's back in the bathhouse he asked me, "babe - have you ever noticed what it says on the back of that hair stuff in the blue and white bottle?" "why no - as long as it works i don't care! - why do you ask?" "on the back of the bottle in the lower left corner it says, THE PROUD LADY 100% BLACK OWNED, don't you think that's a little racist?" "you're sh*tting me, right?" "no, look for yourself." so i did. sho-nuff! that's what it say!

...oh boo...

or do you think i need to find a new hair care product?

...oh boo...

check it out yourselves next time you're in walmart or a beauty supply shop.

Thursday, November 27, 2008


anybody know what happens if you put a cup of popcorn inside the turkey as stuffing?

...oh boo...


it appears THANKSGIVING is more a CHRISTIAN holiday than christmas! ...wonder when they'll try to take it away from u.s.?

...oh boo...

Wednesday, November 26, 2008


according to this article by kathleen parker:

" A new report from the Intercollegiate Studies Institute (ISI) on the nation's civic literacy finds that most Americans are too ignorant to vote.

Out of 2,500 American quiz-takers, including college students, elected officials and other randomly selected citizens, nearly 1,800 flunked a 33-question test on basic civics. In fact, elected officials scored slightly lower than the general public with an average score of 44 percent compared to 49 percent.

Only 0.8 percent of all test-takers scored an "A."

take the test!

i took the test and this is the result:

You answered 24 out of 33 correctly — 72.73 %

Average score for this quiz during November: 78.0%
Average score: 78.0%

...oh boo...

although i scored higher than many elected officials i'll be studying civics for the rest of the week...

...oh boo...

Monday, November 24, 2008

S.A.D.S. "OH BOO" 112408

honestly, i'm trying to keep this site off world events, politics and religion, but sometimes you're handed something that just makes you smack your forehead and say:


i will thank the Lord that (more than likely) NONE of these people will reproduce.

hattip: moonbattery

f.y.i. - S.A.D.S. = stupid arse dumb sh*t - be glad it's not you!

Sunday, November 23, 2008

"OH BOO" MOMENT 112208

funny how these "stinky" "oh boos" come in threes...

okay, so what would you do for $6,000/hour? no - it's not what you're thinking.

pop had to work yesterday - it seems one of the lift stations that pump raw sewage in one of the cities here had a pump that was working waaaaaaaaaaaay overtime and they needed it fixed - so it was bid at $6,000. - regardless of HOW long it took!

not being one to send one of his guys into dangerous territory - down a hole fourteen feet with live sewage coming at him from ALL directions, they sent a pump down, a fan, hooked him up in a lanyard and dropped him down into poopland.

lo and behold - one of the pumps had somehow come loose from the brace that held it it place and while both pumps (emacerating) were installed at the same time, the one faulty running pump had THIRTY ONE HUNDRED MORE HOURS ON IT than the other pump! pop had all the right tools and bolts on hand, fixed it within an hour and kept an eye on it to be sure.

he did, however, have all his natural born comedian salary guys on hand helping him drop stuff down the poop chute and out. welllllll, on the way out with one of the articles of "somethingorother" hit the side of the wall and a big glob of waste "fwooped" over and landed on his ear and eyebrow!

he hollered up to his top guy - "WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?" while wiping the "crap" off the side and front of his head - top guy says, "looks like sh*t!"

...oh boo...but there's more.

as he came up out of the hole, top guy says, "looks like you're going to have sh*tty hearing today and a very crappy outlook on life!"

...oh boo...

pop at the end of the day, "babe, i just know all those people in those houses up on those hills were looking down there just waiting for me to go down that hole before they flushed!"

Thursday, November 20, 2008

"OH" stinkin' "BOO" MOMENT

photo courtesy charles & hudson.

"Experts call for end of flushing toilets on World Toilet Day"

some facts from the article (emphasis mine):

* The average person spends three years of their life on the “john”.

shouldn't this say the "average MAN"?

* The average person flushes a toilet about 2500 times a year, while using about eight sheets of toilet paper per day.

EIGHT SHEETS? EIGHT SHEETS? not if you spend three years of your life parked there!

* An estimated 2.6 billion people worldwide do not have access to proper toilet facilities, particularly in rural areas of China and India.

soooo, they're way ahead of the rest of us in the "fertilization" process?

* Lack of suitable toilets and sanitation kills approximately 1.8 million people a year, many of them children.

as opposed to "unsuitable" toilets?

* According to Jack Sims, a further 500 million toilets are needed to bridge the gap in sanitation.

sounds like a bunch of crappe to me!

* The first flushing toilet was invented in 1596 by Sir John Harrington, a British noble and godson to Queen Elizabeth I. He only invented one, as he was ridiculed by his peers, but he still used it for himself.

stingy butt!

* Most toilets flush in the key of E flat.


* On average, a person will use 22 litres of drinkable water every day flushing a toilet.

bottled or tap?

...oh boo...

Wednesday, November 19, 2008


no, this is NOT a polly tickle site!

it is, however, a site where i will point out the obvious, and make us LOSS! (laugh our selves sillier)

...oh boo...

Sunday, November 16, 2008


not to be nosy, but have you EVER been so desperate for something to eat that you'd actually order this from a restaurant menu? which reminds me of a story...

here awhile back...when pop was working in mississippi a bunch of his guys invited him over for a barbecue and he asked if he could bring anything as he had a steak thawed out - the guy hosting the barbecue told him, "no, man - we've got everything planned."

although pop is not naturally inquisitive, he was a little curious and asked, "so what're you barbecuing?" this stems from his unnatural desire to be THE best barbecuemon on the face of the planet (aren't all men afflicted with this?).

this fellow replied soberly, "we bought a huge bologna and we're slicing it into steaks for the grill!"

...oh boo...

pop trying to be genuinely helpful, "man, do you need some money? i've never been so poor."

...oh boo...

"nah - we barbecue bologna all the time!"

...oh boo...

personally, i'd rather eat bark off a tree!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

"oh boo" moment 041708


i don't mind most spiders, and will usually kill any besides a tarantula or harmless daddy longlegs, but i do not like wolf spiders!

they're gangly and fast and will invade your space faster than any others.

late night reading is one of my greatest joys and as i was sifting through some reading material last night - out of the corner of my eye there goes one of these bad boys in from the patio through a crack in the screen door.

well, needless to say i proceeded to do the jitterbug on it - only my foot didn't land directly on it until about the fifth stomp - flattened it.

my immediate thought was to preserve it for the rest of the family to enjoy - so i took a napkin and marked on it with a fat pink sharpee "DON'T LOOK UNDER HERE!" mostly because i just knew the first person up could NOT resist looking under the napkin.

f.y.i. - napkins are something we write notes to each other in the mornings for each other to find - perhaps under a coffee cup or a cereal bowl. just a quirky little nancfamily habit.

this morning, sneaking downstairs before everyone else - found the napkin about four feet from where i'd laid it over the spider and the spider was GONE!

...oh boo...

surely the spider hadn't arisen from the dead to walk off and taunt me for the rest of the day while my family was away at school and work? how could i possibly expect them to take me seriously about the monster spider when i had no evidence? i was now being held hostage by my wild imagination they'd say.

all of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye i caught clawedy-boy (the cat we belong to) batting something about on the floor under the barstools so i approached him and it was THE dead spider so i went bounding (more like a slow gallop at my age) up the stairs as THEY were coming down, saying, "you've got to see this spider i killed last night - you WILL NOT believe the size of it!"

soooooooo, we get downstairs and i point over to where clawedy-boy is cleaning his paws and there's this one spindly looking little spider leg lying on the floor next to him for everybody to see.

...oh boo...

Sunday, November 09, 2008

"OH BOO" MOMENT 110908

Your results:
You are Mace Windu

Mace Windu
Qui-Gon Jinn
Obi-Wan Kenobi
Lando Calrissian
Darth Maul
Boba Fett
Han Solo
Darth Vader
Tall, dark, handsome and hairless.
Others look up to you,
so if you were a little less of a grump,
you'd have more friends.

(This list displays the top 10 results out of a possible 21 characters)

Click here to take the Star Wars Personality Test

or, "you trekkies"...

Friday, November 07, 2008

"OH BOO" MOMENT 11/06/08

an on-the-way-home, cell phone conversation between nancpop and his stylish and ruggedly handsome friend, name rhymes with "jerry":

jerry: "what're you up to?"

nancpop: "i'm on my way home. what're you up to?" mean jerry: "i'm on my way home too."

nancpop: "oh."

jerry: "i'm going home and get my wife's panties off."

nancpop: "really."

jerry: "yeah, they're riding up on me!"

...oh boo...

which reminds me of a story...

Wednesday, November 05, 2008


originally published june 24, 2006 (click on title for lead to post and scintillating comments):

we'll call one of many because i'm sure they're too numerous to mention.

i felt this little treasure needed a post of its own, so here goes:

mr. beamish, the instable said in the post below this:

"One early summer morning, when we weren't grounded from fishing with dynamite sticks before 6am, me and my older brothers decided it would be fun to take a flamethrower along, just in case we spooked a covey of quail on the way to the creek.

Of course, hunting for quail with a flamethrower in July is illegal in Alabama without a license, but we figured, hey, it's 2 o'clock in the morning, who's gonna catch us?

So we snuck the helicopter out of the garage and started heading for the creek, with dreams of concussion pressured filets of trout fragments dancing in our heads.

Of course, getting the chopper out for a spin at 2 in the morning was always risky because of the noise, but we figured Dad would think the noise was just us plinking cans in the kitchen with a Barrett Light .50, which is okay as long as we didn't take out any of the beloved cans of Campbell's Pepper Pot Soup (which is a collector's item now).

So anyway, we flew the chopper down to the creek and my older brother decides he wants to cast his line in the water while we're still airborne. It would have been fine except that the window wasn't open, so this lit stick of dynamite on a fishing line bounces back into the cabin and my brother starts freaking out and totally lets go of the joystick of the chopper and his fishing pole.

I'm in the back of the chopper trying to stomp out the fuse on the dynamite, stringing cuss words together in a most ungrammatical fashion, while my two brothers are screaming at each other about landing the chopper safely. Dad's going to be pissed if we wreck his helicopter again.

Then it happened.

From what memories I can piece together, I got the window open and tossed the dynamite and fishing pole out, but the fishing line got caught in the side rotor and then the dynamite exploded, tearing the entire tail section off the chopper and sending it flying towards Georgia.

Fortunately, we were only around 10 feet above the creek, so the landing wasn't as bad as it could have been. But, the dynamite blast spooked a nearby covey of quail, and no one was ready with the flamethrower.

Oh boo."

no editing was done to this masterpiece. now i think if i'm ever able to feel again after having fallen while reading this, i'll consider myself a fortunate person.

Monday, November 03, 2008

"OH BOO" Moment 091608 - For Women Only

pop decided to take me to my doctor appointment this morning as my back was on the verge of going out.

this appointment was to have an ultrasound on my ovaries as i've been having some female problems for about the last 52 years...oh boo...

no, really - i've gone from being pre-menopausal to full menopausal back to a normal and REGULAR 30 year old - no, i do not know how to explain this phenomenon.

they could not perform an ultrasound as my bladder was not full - 'magine that! they didn't tell me i needed one or i'd have finished my 32 ounce iced tea in the car before i came in.

instead, they said they'd put this wand thing inside me that had cameras attached to it - okay - how bad could it be? oh, it was much worse than that! it was like THAT times five. it didn't matter how much they tried to reassure me it would be easy.

um, how're you going to get THAT where it needs to be i ask them? well, you just need to insert it and then we'll maneuver it until we get pictures of both your ovaries - oh yippy! did i mention the ultrasound expert was training an ultrasound amateur? okay - the person performing this test was a NOVICE!

after they turned me every which way but loose, i was sent to my appointment only to have a SUBSTITUTE doctor in lieu of MY doctor being in AFGHANISTAN tell me that all was well in MY ovaryland! yay!

now, what're you going to do about this incessant back pain i'm having? he prescribed some "non-addictive" medication i was to take every six hours "as needed" - me, not being one to take much more than three aspirin thought, okay i'll take one for the ride i did.

i climbed into the backseat - pop all cozy in his position behind the wheel thinking, "i won't hear from her until tomorrow!"

within fifteen minutes i was so messed up on the pill he prescribed, looking up from the backseat i said, "i bet you feel like you're in that movie "driving miss daisy", don't'cha?" he snappily replied, "more like "driving miss DIZZY"!"...oh boo...