Tuesday, March 23, 2010


On 09/16/09, four-year-old grandson said to his mother, NTE, ""MOM! Your pot plant is growing bigger!" "That's POTTED plant, son!"

...oh boo...

Sunday, March 14, 2010


It was a dark and stormy night...

No, really. Pop had just turned in and Clawed Mewnet is scared of the thunderstorm so he climbs onto the bed with him - as Clawedy-boy is climbing all over Pop, Pop says to him, "Hear that, Clawed? That's God shooting at cats, yeah."

...oh boo...


Tuesday, March 09, 2010



"New Element Discovered in Cambridge to be Included in the Periodic Table

The Cavendish Nuclear Physics Department of the University of Cambridge has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 - 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each re-organization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that absorbs just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons."

Tuesday, March 02, 2010


Pop has had multitudes of Hispanics and South Americans working with him for quite a few years.

He had a new Hispanic on the job one day and spent ALL DAY trying to find the right words to communicate with him - we call it "Spanglish" as do most other people. After about ten hours of THAT, he asks?

¿We're done por el día, do you want to regresar a casa? (We're done for the day, do you want to go home?)

His new employee answers in perfect Arkansese:

"Yeah, I reckon I'll just go to the house."

...oh boo...