Monday, November 03, 2008

"OH BOO" Moment 091608 - For Women Only

pop decided to take me to my doctor appointment this morning as my back was on the verge of going out.

this appointment was to have an ultrasound on my ovaries as i've been having some female problems for about the last 52 years...oh boo...

no, really - i've gone from being pre-menopausal to full menopausal back to a normal and REGULAR 30 year old - no, i do not know how to explain this phenomenon.

they could not perform an ultrasound as my bladder was not full - 'magine that! they didn't tell me i needed one or i'd have finished my 32 ounce iced tea in the car before i came in.

instead, they said they'd put this wand thing inside me that had cameras attached to it - okay - how bad could it be? oh, it was much worse than that! it was like THAT times five. it didn't matter how much they tried to reassure me it would be easy.

um, how're you going to get THAT where it needs to be i ask them? well, you just need to insert it and then we'll maneuver it until we get pictures of both your ovaries - oh yippy! did i mention the ultrasound expert was training an ultrasound amateur? okay - the person performing this test was a NOVICE!

after they turned me every which way but loose, i was sent to my appointment only to have a SUBSTITUTE doctor in lieu of MY doctor being in AFGHANISTAN tell me that all was well in MY ovaryland! yay!

now, what're you going to do about this incessant back pain i'm having? he prescribed some "non-addictive" medication i was to take every six hours "as needed" - me, not being one to take much more than three aspirin thought, okay i'll take one for the ride i did.

i climbed into the backseat - pop all cozy in his position behind the wheel thinking, "i won't hear from her until tomorrow!"

within fifteen minutes i was so messed up on the pill he prescribed, looking up from the backseat i said, "i bet you feel like you're in that movie "driving miss daisy", don't'cha?" he snappily replied, "more like "driving miss DIZZY"!"...oh boo...