"OH BOO" circa 1977

I was taking some sort of class that year and my mother acquiesced to watching nancdaughter the eldest (nte) after school for but a half hour or so a couple of days a week.

My mother did seasonal work and would usually be getting home about the time nte would be getting off the bus. She would bring her inside her home, sit her down, give her a snack, turn cartoons on and go to bed and I would arrive a short time later to pick her up.

Worked out quite well until one day my mom said to me, "Could you PUHLEEZE ask nte to STOP throwing her banana peels under my dining room table?" I asked, "Huh?" Mom, "Yes, every single time I get up later in the day and there under the table is a banana peel - now you know I don't care if she eats all the bananas - just ask her to put the peels in the garbage." "Okay, mom."

"Nte, grammy wants you to put the banana peels in the garbage after you eat one instead of on the floor under the table, okay?" Nte with puzzled look on her face, "I don't eat grammy's bananas!" "Grammy says you're eating her bananas and throwing the peels on the floor." "NO! I'M NOT!"

Okay so I believed her - five year olds have usually not honed the art of lying so well at that age and I went to my mom and said, "Mom, nte says she DID NOT throw banana peels on the floor under your table." Mom responded huffily, "Well then, I'll just have to prove it to you by staying up and sneaking down the hallway and just watch her and then you'll HAVE to believe ME!" Whatever, mom...

A few days later and one of the FEW times my mother has EVER apologized to me, she ashamedly told me, "I'm sorry, but it wasn't nte eating and throwing the banana peels under the table. I snuck down the hallway and just watched and she sat in front of the t.v. watching a cartoon the whole time. Then Waffles (her favorite child - a dog, btw) got up on the table, tore a banana off the bunch, jumped down under the table, bit at the peel until it came off, ate the banana and left the dayamed peel right there!"

...oh boo...

POTTED PLANT "OH BOO"

On 09/16/09, four-year-old grandson said to his mother, NTE, ""MOM! Your pot plant is growing bigger!" "That's POTTED plant, son!"

...oh boo...

CHRISTMAS STORY "OH BOO"

Firefighters rescue boy whose tongue was stuck to a metal pole.

Strange, you say?:

When nte was approximately eight years old, it seemed she'd always be hollering for me when I went to the restroom or any other room for that matter. I recall asking on a number of occasions, perhaps even begging her to PUHLEEZE approach me and talk to me rather than call across a room or through walls because I WILL ignore you.

One day while showering I could hear her from two rooms away calling for me, garbled though it was and I shouted back, "I TOLD YOU TO PLEASE COME AND TALK DIRECTLY TO ME - DON'T HOLLER!" My shower resumed and she kept getting louder and I thought to myself, Sophia Loren, perhaps someone has broken in and they've accosted her and she needs me!

So as not to arouse suspicion of the intruder, I leave the shower running, step from the tub with my head all soapy, grab a towel and the toilet brush and edge my way out of the bathroom - through the bedroom I slinked along the wall, dripping wet with shampoo running into my eyes - around the corner into the front room - I edge up beside the refrigerator door where it is noticeable the door is OPEN and she is whimpering now - I step around the door fully prepared to use the toilet brush in whatever manner to bring great harm to the person hurting my baby!

There she is, standing there with her little hand stuck to the wall of the freezer and I'm like WTF? (In case y'all're wondering what the "F" is in my "WTF's" - it's FLUFF! Of course, back then it could have been any number of words...oh boo...) I adamantly ask, "WHAT are you doing with your hand stuck to the freezer (as I'm now naked with the toilet brush on the floor)? I hover over the sink trying to get a pan of hot water to get her hand unstuck while the shampoo by this time has removed the first membrane on my eyeballs - and she responds, "I wet my hand and stuck it to the freezer just to see what it would do."

...oh boo...

MOTHER'S DAY "OH BOO"

when nancdaughter the elder (hereinafter referred to as nte) was about six she went out hiking around our house in the mountains and came home with a jawbone very similar to the one above.

i told her it was nasty and to get rid of it. okay.

flash forward a few months - nte lost a tooth and i told her to put it into her "tooth pillow" - i'm sure you've seen them - they're a tiny four by five inch or so pillow with a little pocket on the front large enough to put a tooth and perhaps a quarter in.

that night i snuck into her room and reached under her pillow and got a case of "HOLY CRAPPE!" when not only the tooth pillow came out from under her pillow, but that six or seven inch jawbone AND wrapped around the jawbone a lengthy note for a six year old:

"dear tooth fairy - these are some mammals teeth i found in the woods. i know they're not mine, but leave me some extra money anyway and a pack of trident gum. thank you. nte"

...oh boo...

i still have the note and jawbone somewhere and run across them every now and again.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

crossposted here.