SCHNAPPS "OH BOO"

here awhile back...

when pop was working out of state, i was clearing some land on the mountain and hired three or four young men to help me a couple of days a week. they were all between the ages of 13-17, but they could barely keep up with me!

we were cutting brush, pulling stumps, moving boulders and large rocks, burning brush, mowing and weedeating.

i kept plenty of sodas, water and tea on hand for break times and expected them to take regular breaks of about five or ten minutes EVERY hour - the arkansas heat isn't what gets you - it's the humidity. if it's 85 degrees and 70 percent humidity, you can lose much needed waterweight and develop heat stroke in a hurry.

after a couple of weeks of this, when i'd ask the boys what they wanted to drink, all but one stated what they wanted and i asked the one who didn't, "what do you want to drink, nutcase (not his real name)?" he said, "i'll have what you're having!" "okay, unsweet tea it is." he responded, "no, i want some of that SCHNAPPS i smell on your breath all day!" "WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?" "you can't fool me, mzz nanc - you're drinking peppermint schnapps and that's what i'll have too." "listen you little turd, i'm NOT drinking schnapps, i NEVER drink schnapps and i NEVER drink alcohol before six or seven in the evening and i certainly would NEVER drink it with a 17 year old - NOW GET BACK TO WORK!"

he was a persistent little devil - even wanting to smell my breath so i got all myself in his face to where i could see my reflection in his bulging eyes and gave him a breath he'll never forget - he responds, "see, i told you you're drinking schnapps." okay, at this point i'm pretty sure i can take him...and then i remember i had put two of these into my mouth at the beginning of the job.

...oh boo...

everest WAS my favorite chewing gum before altoids, but if you put two in your mouth it would literally knock the wind out of a sissy, so i said, "IT'S NOT SCHNAPPS! it's these, here have TWO."

...oh boo...

that'll teach'im!