Friday, June 26, 2009


here awhile back...

"this guy" up on the mountain was somewhat dating this local girl and to say she was dumber than a box of rocks would be insulting to rocks everywhere.

we were sharing backhoe rent with this guy and roofing the cabin and they came over to see how we were coming along. another friend who i'll call "lampie" (because that was a portion of his last name) was staying with us and helping for room and board.

lampie and nancpop were up on the roof so "this guy" decided to join them to check the progress. i was stuck on the deck with the local girl trying to dumb myself down enough to make some sense to her in conversating. yeah, i know that's not a word.

we got on the subject of birthdays and the children and i were telling her our birthdates, when she soberly said, "mah birthday's USUALLY on julah FIRST."

...oh boo...

next i hear the guys coming down the ladder and trampling around out back so i chokingly tell local girl, "i'll be right back - visit with the children." well, i'm arseholes and elbows trying to get out back to find out if the guys heard her tell us what i thought she said - sure enough, they're out there holding their guts, turning all shades of red and laughing their tail ends off over the comment. meanwhile i'm begging them to, "PUHLEEZE RESCUE ME!" they could contain themselves long enough to tell me, "you're on your own." which is proof that what goes around comes around.

when i maintained i returned to the deck to visit the best i could - the children were ever so thankful and politely disappeared and it may have been several days before i saw them again.

as fate would have it, she also attended the same church the children went to and although they'd warned me about this woman - i was sure they were exaggerating and was about to be proven wrong.

we chatted about nothing and i asked her why she rode the church bus - she responded that she was unable to get a license for health reasons. then she started telling me about a few nights before when all the children on the bus were getting out of control. i asked what the driver did in those instances - she seriously responded, "he JERKED that bus to a stop - looked in his REVENOOOOOOER mirror - and told'em'all to QUIETTEN down!"

...oh boo...

needless to say, the guys all heard it too - another trip to the back yard where we ALL were quietly trying to have a good laugh!