Monday, April 20, 2009


imagine it - sicily, 1942...oops! different story.

this is a three part "oh boo" and in part being posted as pop and i were reminiscing and laughing our hind ends off yesterday to and from church and i told him i needed to etch a couple of these into www stone before i remember to forget them.

i used to work for a large welfare agency back in the day and if you don't think we'd get some of the dayamdest callers - i'd sometimes put some of them on hold, dance around the room, shouting, "ARE PEOPLE REALLY THIS STUPID?!?"

case in point (and i've changed the surname somewhat to protect the idiots) - this lady called for some reason or another and said, "hello, my name's sherry bnodfulweuyfhf and i need to talk to my worker." "could you please spell your full name for me so i can direct this call to your worker?" her response, "S-H-E-R-R-Y - that's sherry!" "yeah?" "yes, (and she spoke) sherry bnodfulweuyfhf!" OH YAY!

another time this woman called in as she hadn't received her check on the first - the reason you DON'T receive your check ON THE FIRST is because you failed to send in your income report the prior month by the fifth of the month. mind you this is a month later. so i pulled her case file and informed her of that and her check would be held until which time she turned in her income report.

she started whining about being in a wreck the previous weekend (a MONTH AFTER the income report is due, mind you). i asked her what this information had to do with her not turning in her income report. she responded, "well, you know that wreck yesterday where the car went into the river from the such and such bridge?" "um, no - it's only monday and i haven't read the paper today." "well that was me and my income report is in the glove box. i need my check." puts putz on hold. HELLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP?!?!?!? maintains composure, "have they pulled your car from the water yet?" "no, not yet - my income report is still in the glove box." puts putz on hold. BWAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! "you must be into this office before 11:00 a.m. and fill out an income report if you'd like your check released by 2:00 p.m. - otherwise you have to wait until tomorrow." "but, but, but it's in the glove box!" HOLY CRAPPE!

sometimes we'd get 75 calls a day just like those two and if i ever find the steno pads where i kept track of ALL calls you will see a book for sale on the sidebar!

another time while working for another government agency we had a freak snowfall - out of nowhere it came. people were losing their minds all over town and not just our town, surrounding towns and even the towns which were used to snow now and then.

this lady called our office when she couldn't get ahold of her local office and asked me what the weather was going to be - puts lady on hold - "WHO THE HELL DO I LOOK LIKE - WILLARD SCOTT?!?" demurely gets back on phone, "ma'am - do you have curtains or blinds?" "well, i've got blinds, why do you ask?" "are they open or closed?" "they're closed." "okay, i'm going to put you on hold so you can go over and open them and i'll be back in a moment." by this time everyone in the building can sense my disdain AND joy. i left her on hold for quite awhile really hoping she'd just realize how utterly ridiculous the call she made to me was, but no, she was there when i returned. "hello, are your blinds open?" "why yes they are now!" "okay, now what's the weather doing outside?" "IT'S SNOWING!" "then ma'am, it's probably snowing today. you have a great day and stay off the roads if at all possible."

...oh boo...