O.T. "OH BOO"

This is one of those posts where I hate to venture for the mere fact I like to keep this light and airy - and then thought to myself - what is more light and airy than gays in the military?

Many have heard me say that if not for a gay cousin of mine (quite a bit older) taking me and my siblings under his wing, we would not have had such a great childhood - he bought us a Honda 50 to tear it up in a field across the street from our house; he took us to Disneyland, the San Diego Zoo, Sea World, the movies and was a joy to be around.

He was at our house regularly when he was stationed nearby - sharing meals and was like a big old brother. I love him. Back in the day the word "gay" had not been stolen by homosexuals and a rainbow was something only seen after a rain so we referred to him as "different". "Homo" was something only said in jest and never to a person who was "different"!

This whole business of offending gays in the military is, as my dear departed grandmother would call, "A CROCK OF HOOEY!" I agree - gays SHOULD be in the military - gays SHOULD have their own BRANCH of the military - gays SHOULD be sent in first to survey the situation (because who would give more detail to a situation?) - gays SHOULD have more rights in military combat because WHAT group of people have fought more for the rights to just be normal?

I do, however, draw the line at how this morning on Fox News, Adam Smith(D), Washington, describes HOW they are doing in the military - at least until they have their own branch of the military, "...fabulously..."

...oh boo...

Fabulously would be how I would describe how the draperies hang, or how someone like Halle Berry fits a gown, or a feeling after that first kiss...

Talk about Full Monty dialectics!

Is it my imagination or are the progressives trying to sissify our military? No offense to macho gays...

Crossposted here.

SHAMPOO & A SET "OH BOO"

here awhile back...

Pop had to go have a knee injury checked at the urgent care that all the guys in the company use - needless to say, it is run by ALL women - they loved him! They loved him so much, they'd call him when he was home to visit with ME to tell me how much they loved him...

They were due to have their grand opening within the second month of operation and were having open houses and raffles and drawings. Pop got in on that!

Then, he proceeded to forget about it after he didn't need to go back for any check ups. One day he got a call from their office to tell him that he'd won one of the drawings and he could come and collect.When he arrived, they snickered a little as they handed him his envelope with his prize in it.

What do you suppose it was?

A FREE SHAMPOO, CONDITIONING AND SET!

...oh boo...

Um, pop's totally bald...

BLACKBERRY4 "OH BOO"

Okay, so I AM a techtard.

I went to take a photo with my BB and stuck the little round circle from the photo on the right up to my eye and said to zgirl - "I CAN'T SEE A THING WITH THIS!"

Zgirl, "Turn it around, mama..."

...oh boo...

01/09/10 "OH BOO"

Zgirl went to the championship homeschool basketball games this afternoon.

We watched "Full Metal Jacket"...just because I'd never seen it before...oh boo...

Built a big salad, steamed some broccoli and made some scalloped potatoes to go with what pop had on the 'cue.

It's served up and nancson asks, "Oh, what's this - gamish corn hens?"

...oh boo...

After supper, pop, in all seriousness says, "I think I'm getting a feeling down here in my...(points to his throat)...philosophical tubes."

...oh boo...

NORM CROSBY - WHERE ARE YOU?!?



Malapropisms Galore!

NANCPOP DAD "OH BOO"

Pop and I were reminiscing here awhile back about special people in our lives and he recalled one of his friends growing up, a young black fellow (Richard) who had a stutter.

He, pop and pop's dad would always go fishing together throughout his high school years and after that lost touch for awhile.

One day many years later, Richard stopped by the ranch to catch up on old times and go fishing. Pop was so glad to see him and apparently so was pop's pop - he got all excited, grabbed him to shake his hand or hug him and said, "Richard, I haven't seen you in a 'coon's age!"

...oh boo...

Then followed it up with this, "No offense."

...oh boo...

My poor mother-in-law...

BLACKBERRY3 "OH BOO"

We were at the cabin for Thanksgiving and one day pop decided he was going trout fishing on the world famous "White River" before the children and our company returned.

I kept myself busy getting ready to house an extra five people and decided to watch his and my own favorite movie ever made, Paint Your Wagon.

After an hour or so I called him to see if he was having any luck and tell him I was watching the movie. Nope, no bites whatsoever and the water was up and as clear as could be.

One of our favorite parts in the movie came on so I decided to text him:

"Mooney, there's a woman in the saloon with a baby pressed against her breast."

His response:

"HA! I love that part!"

My next text:

"lt ain't every day that we got a woman in Atwell's - pressing her breast with her baby."

His response:

"That's FUNNY!"

My next text:

"there's a woman in Atwell's pressing her breast to the saloon."

No response...

So I text him this one last time:

"There's a breast in Atwell's pressing a woman against her."

A couple of minutes pass and his response comes back:

"HAG"

Okay, so I'm thinking, "Is he calling me a hag? or Elizabeth who is the woman in the saloon pressing her breast against it?"

...oh boo...

He gets home a few hours later, two trout heavier and I ask him why he responded back with a "HAG"?

He looked at me like I had sprouted angel wings and stated, "I sent you back a message that said HA!"

...oh boo...

So now I need BETTER glasses!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, POP!

OH-OH-OH

BLESSINGS AND PEACE BE THE RULE OF THE DAY - EVERY DAY!

JOYEUX NOEL!

Isaiah 9:6 - For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

Amen

LETTERS TO SANTA "OH BOO"

We get a big kick out of "Letters to Santa" every year - and this year is no exception. Here are a few, written by area first graders, we were reading and having a good laugh over this weekend:

Dear Santa:

You are a dear Santa. I
said, "Mom, here is a dear
Santa." Would you bring me
a video game?

Love, XXXXX

This little guy is an Eddie Haskell in the making - "Nice dress Mrs. Cleaver."

Dear Santa:

You say hoohoo. I say
hoohoo. Everbody say
hoohoo.

Love, XXXXXXX

I could get along with a person like this! ...ohboohoo...

Dear Santa:

How is miss clause? I
would like to have a game
and super hero cards. I'm
going to get a table and
poot cookies on it for you.

Love, XXXX

Mr. Obsessed with everything noisy and stinky said, "I pooted some Christmas cookies just this morning!"

Dear Santa,

I will leave cookies for
you. How are the raindeer
doing? I want a black
laptop compytr for Christmas.

Frum XXXXX

A new black compytr will certainly help him only if he understands the concept of "spellcheck". Yeah, yeah, yeah - I know, first grade - here in Arkansas he could be 10 or 11 years old however!

There were quite a few where the children asked only for special favor in the case of sick loved ones and those made me cry a little - "oh boo moments" is not for tears of sadness and I ask that you just keep those wee ones in your prayers.

CHRISTMAS GOODIES "OH BOO"

My husband's engineer's wife and I have been sending baked goodies, homemade candy, and home canned goods for the past couple of weeks to keep all the guys in the holiday spirit.

Today, she sent "date nut logs" and he gave pop one to bring home - one of pop's operators went to unwrap it and asked, "Mmmmm, what's this?" Pop replied, "It's a stool sample."

...oh boo...

Needless to say, he frantically re-wrapped it and set it back where he found it! Wonder what he's been telling them all the treats I've been sending are?!?

F.I.L. GOLF "OH BOO"

I love my father in law - if you ever had the opportunity to be around him and me, you'd think I don't like him, but I really, really like him.

You see, he is SOOOOOOOOOOOO full of himself and I CANNOT stop myself from pointing it out to him at every turn - he'll be going on and on about some great thing he believes he's done and everyone will be hanging on his every word and suddenly he'll stop and look at me like, "Well, what do YOU think?"

I will generally say something like, "Oh, do go on - it IS all about you, dad." And, my mother in law will do that Betty Rubble giggle and look at me like, "NOBODY EVER talks to him like that - you go girl!"

Anyhoo, we got him to take up golf a number of years ago and at first he'd take only one driver and a ball to the course and just hit it all over the place and probably quit once he lost THE only ball. Mostly he just liked to see how far he could hit it and then just brag about it until the next farthest hit.

He recently got a little more serious and actually goes out now at pre-arranged tee times with other more serious golfers for actual rounds of golf.

A few weeks ago, a professional golfer came to the course and just wanted to get in a practice round and my f-i-l and his partner were the only team he could slide in on so they good-naturedly accepted them into their time slot.

Things were going quite well until f-i-l's rooster hormones kicked in and he actually started heckling every bad shot the pro made - his partner trying to shush him, but once he gets going it is nigh on impossible to get him back on track again.

The pro was becoming visibly upset at my f-i-l's lack of golf etiquette and as a result badly hooked one of his drives off into neverland - my f-i-l abruptly stated, "Maybe you ought to put some cowbells on your balls before the next drive!"

...oh boo...

CHRISTMAS STORY "OH BOO"

Firefighters rescue boy whose tongue was stuck to a metal pole.

Strange, you say?:

When nte was approximately eight years old, it seemed she'd always be hollering for me when I went to the restroom or any other room for that matter. I recall asking on a number of occasions, perhaps even begging her to PUHLEEZE approach me and talk to me rather than call across a room or through walls because I WILL ignore you.

One day while showering I could hear her from two rooms away calling for me, garbled though it was and I shouted back, "I TOLD YOU TO PLEASE COME AND TALK DIRECTLY TO ME - DON'T HOLLER!" My shower resumed and she kept getting louder and I thought to myself, Sophia Loren, perhaps someone has broken in and they've accosted her and she needs me!

So as not to arouse suspicion of the intruder, I leave the shower running, step from the tub with my head all soapy, grab a towel and the toilet brush and edge my way out of the bathroom - through the bedroom I slinked along the wall, dripping wet with shampoo running into my eyes - around the corner into the front room - I edge up beside the refrigerator door where it is noticeable the door is OPEN and she is whimpering now - I step around the door fully prepared to use the toilet brush in whatever manner to bring great harm to the person hurting my baby!

There she is, standing there with her little hand stuck to the wall of the freezer and I'm like WTF? (In case y'all're wondering what the "F" is in my "WTF's" - it's FLUFF! Of course, back then it could have been any number of words...oh boo...) I adamantly ask, "WHAT are you doing with your hand stuck to the freezer (as I'm now naked with the toilet brush on the floor)? I hover over the sink trying to get a pan of hot water to get her hand unstuck while the shampoo by this time has removed the first membrane on my eyeballs - and she responds, "I wet my hand and stuck it to the freezer just to see what it would do."

...oh boo...

MJ "OH BOO"

This was playing on the satellite holiday music station when pop came in yesterday. Never one to miss a beat, he stated, "He was alive when he sang this."

...oh boo...

BLACKBERRY2 "OH BOO"

I set my BB to go off at a particular time at night and to go on at a particular time in the morning. The children ALWAYS send me a message stating, "MADE IT! ILU!" when they get to their destinations each weekday.

We were at the cabin for Thanksgiving and had company the weekend after - everyone was soundly asleep with the exception of two hunters off in the woods (bagged an eight-point buck I might add) when all of a sudden my phone came on, started plinging and vibrating all over by the side of the bed (built up on a wooden platform with storage beneath) - I was startled, sat bolt upright, grabbed the phone and there were two messages from nancson who was, BTW, sound asleep in the upstairs bedroom mere feet from me...

The two messages read, "Mom, could you please go out back and turn the light off in the bathhouse?"

...oh boo...

I'm not a very patient person lately - menopause and all - and have even asked God to please give me a mustache in place of the hotflashes, night sweats and moodiness. It would be the first time in the history of my family ANYBODY grew one...

...oh boo...

So I holler out, "Go out back and turn the light out YOURSELF!" Suddenly all seven people left in the cabin were awake...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

Photo courtesy lylefur.

I am reminded of the story a former co-worker told me of the first year she was to make Thanksgiving supper for her in-laws.

She did not want ANY help from another, so embarked on the journey alone - good thing for everyone else - no one to blame for what was to follow but herself.

As she was searching for turkey recipes, she came across the perfect recipe - cleaned the bird out, put the stuffing in - THEN, the directions stated, truss the turkey - no, she didn't go try to find a girdle for it!

It was early Thanksgiving morn and nothing was open so she could purchase "trussing" material and thought, "What the hey - I'll just take some straight, sewing-type pins and that ought to do the trick!" So, she did.

Everything was going good until she removed the lovely, golden brown and steaming turkey from the oven - drained the gravy drippings - went to remove the 30 or 40 straight pins from the bird and they were NOWHERE to be found! She, shaking like a dog pooping peach pits, glided through the entire meal sure someone was going to choke on one of the pins.

...oh boo...

No, she NEVER found them! HAPPY THANKSGIVING Y'ALL!

BLACKBERRY "OH BOO"

Contrary to what we've all heard about this marvelous piece of technology - NO, it will NOT change the channels on your television from the dining room or from any other room for that matter...

...oh boo...

MAKES ME LOOK FAT "OH BOO"

When the Badger was here last, I found myself actually coveting this Carhartt khaki shirt of his.

Sure, it's from the "big and tall" section of clothing - thing is, Badger is approximately 4'14" tall and about half again that round - not round in the "fat" sense - he's built like a mini-dozer or a tackle! BEEEEFY!

The entire week he was here, I whined about how much I admired that party cooler shirt - finally, the last evening he probably had enough and said, "Here, you may as well have it - Mrs. Badger says it makes me look FAT!"

...oh boo...

The shirt in question has been one of my favorites since and fits me like a small tent - and then one day nancpop left one of his black, refillable-type, fine point, felt tip pens in a pocket and it broke open in the laundry - MY SHIRT now looks like a black and green variegated camouflage TENT SHIRT!

...oh boo...

At least I won't be recognizable while running through the woods from the bear that's been hanging about the cabin!

HAUTE CUISINE "OH BOO"

Our son LOVVVVVVVVVVVVES to cook and is always preparing some delightful treat from other countries - mostly France. He's always experimenting with something new and we reap the benefits.

He decide a couple of weeks ago that he wanted to try his hand at "Creme Brulee" so purchased all the necessary equipment - we get a kick out of a friend of ours who wants to name their first child "Ramekin"!

The first time out on the brulee we were quite surprised at how it turned out, so he kept making it night after night - adding this and that - chocolate - nutmeg, etc.

Last night he was telling pop, "I call the chocolate brulee "Creme Brulee du Chocolat"!" (He is an International Business major with a minor in language in college and converses easily in a couple of languages.)

Pop replied, "I call it chocolate puddin'!"

...oh boo...

FT. HOOD "OH BOO"

The nancster likes to give credit where credit is due and today when I was originally intending to make this post, our dsl went out and I thought to myself, "You gorgeous hunk of woman, you..." Wait, that was earlier in the day.

Later, when the dsl went out, I had occasion to listen to potussa's speech at Ft. Hood Memorial and thought he would somehow make it all about him. I have to apologize - his handlers wrote a very thoughtful and nice speech for him to orate.

...oh boo...

Hopefully, no one will read this post before the next moment. No, I am not softening towards potussa.

God be with the families of those whose lives were cut short by this madman - may he get exactly what's coming to him. Not my will, but the Will of God be done.

CANDY POOP? "OH BOO"

First of all, everyone who knows nancpop knows he is an expert in all issues concerning wildlife and bellybutton lint.

Since zgirl was a teeny-tiny, he'd hold his closed hand out to her and she'd put her palm out flat and he'd drop a Tootsie Roll Pop, money, a piece of gum, a lizard, a frog, or a small snake and yes, even bellybutton lint - it's a father and daughter thing - trust beyond measure.

This weekend at the cabin, zgirl was just sitting there unsuspectingly playing on her new Blackberry and nancpop came in from outside where he was, btw, smoking the limit of trout he and she caught the day before, when he held out his closed fist to her and she (like she's been doing for at least 16 years) held out her flat hand and he dropped what looked like a miniature tootsie roll into it.

She IMMEDIATELY went to place it to her nose to smell it first and THEN opened her mouth to make a deposit when pop said, "NO, IT'S A DEER TURD!"

...oh boo...



Needless to say, he went on to give us all the details on the deer turd.

...oh boo...

"YES! It is fresh - you see it's barely set on the outside yet warm on the inside if you pinch it. That means they were RIGHT THERE by the bathhouse moments beforehand!" He expounded further but we were so taken aback and hollering at him we couldn't possibly have heard ALL we needed to know about a simple deer turd.

...oh boo...

"PAPA! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?!? MAMA - POP'S GROSS!"

I had no idea of ALL the virtues of nancpop when I said, "I do."

...oh boo...

SAVING TIME "OH BOO"

What mother doesn't have an issue with her children being able to fill a dishwasher in a half day because they just don't care about the time and money involved? What do the following have in common?:





If you said absolutely nothing, you'd be closer to the truth than not.

...oh boo...

The children are pretty sure that rather than put the brownie on a napkin and eat it, putting it into a stoneware bowl while using a plastic throw-away spoon is surely saving time and money.

...oh boo...

I'm breaking them, however...yeah, while they're at school I'm putting clean dishes into the dishwasher so they can unload it after school!