HOLY CRAPPE "OH BOO"!

PHOTO COURTESY: blogs.news.com.au/herald sun

no, really, "“Natural living” advocates unveil their latest planet-saving invention - the reusable toilet wipe."

oh goody - i can see the fight at my house right now:

"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO FLUSH'EM!"

"well, i'mmmmmm not rinsing them out."

"neither am i!"

"why are we supposed to save something we've wiped our hind ends with?"

"MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!"

...oh boo...

a new label has been added "s.a.s." = stupidasssh*t - not to be confused with "s.a.s.s." = short attention span syndrome. carry on.

CREAMY SAUSAGE SOUP "OH BOO"

in a deep cast iron skillet or dutch oven, brown one pound of spicy breakfast sausage over medium/high heat. sift one cup of flour into simmering sausage, being sure every bit of sausage is coated nicely and a thick paste is developing in the sausage grease - turn heat down to medium and add four cups of milk (you can dilute at ration of 2:2 with water). stir continuously reducing heat to low and allow mixture to thicken - this is where you salt and pepper if it's not seasoned enough for your tastebuds. NOTE: for thinner soup add more liquid, thicker less liquid, but never skimp on the sausage or flour!



PHOTO COURTESY: time, inc., recipes

serve in soup bowls and garnish with seasoned croutons or use hot rolls or biscuits for dipping - bon appetit!

wuh? what do you mean this SOUNDS like gravy?

...oh boo...

OUTRAGEOUS WATER BILL "OH BOO"

one reason i love this time of year is that our water bill will USUALLY be about one-quarter to one-third less than in the warm months and that means i can put more money into pop's lunch cooler.

a couple of months ago (after our bill had gone down sufficiently) it suddenly went up about ten bucks so i went about outside looking for leaks and put my ears up to the walls inside the house to listen for running water - nothing. i checked to see if there was a rate increase i overlooked - nothing again.

last month the bill went up a few more dollars so i told everyone - FIVE MINUTE SHOWERS! THE WATER BILL IS OUTRAGEOUS! that lasted about a week or so. of course as i was muttering to myself, my family were rolling their eyes back and forth at one another surely thinking i'd gone nutzier.

i noticed a funny thing with mewna lisa and clawed mewnet (the cat bosses) - they kept coming out of our bathtubs and sinks looking all satisfied and one day, zgirl said, "mama, come and look at this - you're going to love it!" i went into their bathroom where the water was dripping out of the sink AND bathtub and the cats were lapping it up.

needless to say i was miffed and asked, "HOW LONG HAVE Y'ALL BEEN DOING THIS?" nancson, "for quite awhile, mama - why?"

"WTF - RICKEN' FRACKEN' - BRISTLE-FRATTIN' - WATER BILL - YOUR ALLOWANCE IS GOING TO BE DOCKED - I CHANGE THE WATER IN THE CAT'S BOWL TWICE A DAY - ARE YOU PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR EVERLOVIN' MAHNDS?!?" okay, so i didn't say WTF, but i was thinking it.

...oh boo...

i cannot WAIT to see this coming month's water bill.

"OH BOO" PERPETUAL PAY-OFFS

if i were to have one complaint about pop, it would be that if he has a hundred dollar bill in his pocket in the morning it will be gone by suppertime. same goes for a fiver or a ten. he'll treat his supervisors to lunch, stop and give some of it to a homeless person or buy the kidz candy - he just hates the thought of UNSPENT money!

a couple of years ago, i had to get strict with him as he messed our checking account up so bad that it took several months to straighten out - i took his bank card and he had to open his own checking account and be accountable for his low level credit card all on a weekly allowance of what i feel is a very hefty amount of money - a family of two could easily live on this amount.

even after all this and several family conferences where we all sat down and i made a calendar of the household budget and gave it to each person and also my personal budget - i told them all, "YOU NEED TO MAKE THIS WORK!" - pop is still cash poor. because i know this my heart softens about two days a week so i'll get into my cash stash and put a five or ten into his lunch cooler.

when he gets home from work i'll ask, "sooooooooooo, did you get the little surprise i put into your cooler?" him looking all dreamy and in a smooth voice, "why, yes. i. did. was that for this morning (lifting his eyebrows)?" me, "OH! you know it was! now, where's my change?"

...oh boo...

"OH BOO" MOMENT 021509

PHOTO COURTESY: scoplaw blogs

here awhile back...okay, so it was only a few days ago - nancpop, nancson and i were out and about and decided to do a little grocery shopping at the new neighborhood walmart market on our way home. they were loaded with food items you don't find at your ordinary hometown markets.

we each chose some exotic thing or another for a future meal this week. nancson noticed the pre-seasoned quail and put it into the cart; pop selected his usual jerky fixings and i opted out for some "pareve" chicken noodle soup.

a segue:

we've been extremely busy this past weekend getting ready for an appraiser to come as we're refinancing our house. the person who owned the home before painted then entire inside with FLAT latex paint - you cannot keep it clean!

after we moved in nearly two years ago, i did two of the bathrooms with EXTERIOR latex semi-gloss - why exterior you ask? think about how damp it gets in bathrooms... and we put lifetime linoleum down on those two floors also.

saturday was a great day to begin the painting of the downstairs. we had a date that evening as the teens were away on other business - well some bug/virus hit me midway through the morning attacking my sinuses, head, ears and had my whole body aching so our date was cancelled - no, i'm NOT feeling much better but did have a chance to help pop yesterday - i was delegated to the trim work because nobody can cut a trim line like me when it comes to painting.

an unsegue:

pop decided to take the quail out of the freezer sunday morning and upon seeing that four quail are but an appetizer, called nancson who was in town picking up more paint, and told him to bring home a couple of cornish game hens to go with the quail.

i was listening to the conversation and was trying to tell pop that there was no need for that as i had chicken breasts in the freezer and would take them out posthaste!

when he disconnected - he asked, "now what were you saying?" me, "i have chicken breasts! and don't you DARE say ANYTHING!" him, "nonsense babe, i've never seen a feather one on your breasts!"

...oh boo...

"OH BOO" MOMENT 041508

sometimes they happen more frequently than others...



my husband has been wanting a woodburning tool for so long - he yammers on about how he used to have one as a child and so it goes.

last night, they had a very good kit with many attachments on sale, so i went ahead and purchased it for him.

as he was looking at all the attachments, wondering which ones were for whatever project, he came across one party coolerly pointed and deadly looking item and lovingly looked at me and said, "babe, the next time you get one of those paper cuts where you nearly bleed to death, i'll be able to cauterize it for you with this bad thing!"

yes, dr. nancpop, while i wait five minutes for it to heat up

...oh boo...

MIDLIFE/OLD AGE "OH BOO"

i used to have a boss who, after turning fifty, started buying "muscle" cars and calling elderly folks "fops" - i'm sure everyone knows what that means.

the children were small, but each could read and spell single syllable words by the age of a little over four-and-a-half.

i was laughing about my boss' use of the "fop" and one of the little ones wanted to know what it meant, so i lied and said, "frikkin' old people!" thus began a car game for our travels over the next couple of years.

it would go something like this:

zgirl to nancson: "clops!" nancson, "huh?" zgirl, "crazy little old people!"

me to pop: "flops!" pop, "freaky little old people?" me, "uh-huh!"

nancson to me: "slops!" me, "slippery little old people? him, "nope - slimy little old people, mama!"

and so the game went on and on with many repeats with differing meanings.

chops - crumby, hateful old people

crops - crazy, rude old people

glops - gory little old people

sops - stinkin' old people

pops - poopy old people

bops - big old people

yada-yada-yada - do you or have you ever made up any "ops" of your own?

now that i've begun descending the mountain, i have to wonder what "ops" i'll be tagged with...

...oh boo...

OVER 50 "OH BOO"

found at powerline:

Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum

Q: Where can men over the age of 50 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?
A: Try a bookstore-------under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?
A: Keep busy. If you’re handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?
A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: ‘And Mary rode Joseph’s ass all the way to Egypt .’

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+ year old husband?
A: Tell him you’re pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly-----wrinkles?
A: Take off your glasses.

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow’s feet and all those wrinkles on my face?
A: Go bra-less. It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 50+ year old people use valet parking?
A: Valets don’t forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 50+ year olds to have problems with short-term memory storage?
A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?
A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 50+ year olds look for eye glasses?
A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+ year olds when they enter antique stores?
A: ‘Gosh, I remember these!’

...oh boo...