Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
POTTED PLANT "OH BOO"
On 09/16/09, four-year-old grandson said to his mother, NTE, ""MOM! Your pot plant is growing bigger!" "That's POTTED plant, son!"
...oh boo...
...oh boo...
Sunday, March 14, 2010
CLAWEDY BOY "OH BOO"
It was a dark and stormy night...
No, really. Pop had just turned in and Clawed Mewnet is scared of the thunderstorm so he climbs onto the bed with him - as Clawedy-boy is climbing all over Pop, Pop says to him, "Hear that, Clawed? That's God shooting at cats, yeah."
...oh boo...
(9/21/09)
Tuesday, March 09, 2010
NEW ELEMENT FOUND "OH BOO"
FOUND AT A TPP FRIEND'S F/B:
"New Element Discovered in Cambridge to be Included in the Periodic Table
The Cavendish Nuclear Physics Department of the University of Cambridge has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 - 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each re-organization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that absorbs just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons."
"New Element Discovered in Cambridge to be Included in the Periodic Table
The Cavendish Nuclear Physics Department of the University of Cambridge has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.
These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.
Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 - 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each re-organization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.
This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.
When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that absorbs just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons."
Tuesday, March 02, 2010
LANGUAGE "OH BOO"
Pop has had multitudes of Hispanics and South Americans working with him for quite a few years.
He had a new Hispanic on the job one day and spent ALL DAY trying to find the right words to communicate with him - we call it "Spanglish" as do most other people. After about ten hours of THAT, he asks?
¿We're done por el día, do you want to regresar a casa? (We're done for the day, do you want to go home?)
His new employee answers in perfect Arkansese:
"Yeah, I reckon I'll just go to the house."
...oh boo...
He had a new Hispanic on the job one day and spent ALL DAY trying to find the right words to communicate with him - we call it "Spanglish" as do most other people. After about ten hours of THAT, he asks?
¿We're done por el día, do you want to regresar a casa? (We're done for the day, do you want to go home?)
His new employee answers in perfect Arkansese:
"Yeah, I reckon I'll just go to the house."
...oh boo...
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
"OH BOO" MOMENT 092908
Here awhile back...
For well over a year I'd been trying to get nancpop to either lay me off or fire me. I finally got a little more than angry last night and stated emphatically, "I REALLY HATE THAT JOB - LET ME GO OR ELSE!"
This morning (092808) I received this from him in my email:
Good morning Honey,
I have to let you go.Your position in the company has been dissolved.
Have a great day !!!!!!!!!
Love Ya
POP
...oh boo...
YAY!
For well over a year I'd been trying to get nancpop to either lay me off or fire me. I finally got a little more than angry last night and stated emphatically, "I REALLY HATE THAT JOB - LET ME GO OR ELSE!"
This morning (092808) I received this from him in my email:
Good morning Honey,
I have to let you go.Your position in the company has been dissolved.
Have a great day !!!!!!!!!
Love Ya
POP
...oh boo...
YAY!
Friday, February 19, 2010
BROCCOLI "OH BOO"
Ever since nancson was small he's hated broccoli - the ONLY way he'd eat it was if I put on a pot of homemade cheesy/broccoli soup AND made homemade croutons to drown out the taste.
I got a text from him on 02/16/10:
"Today I braved up and ate some broccoli."
My reply: "Hope it doesn't kill you..."
Him: "It didn't"
Me: "Oh good, because that would mean someone hijacked your phone while you were lying on the floor having the dying broccoli quivers!"
...oh boo...
I got a text from him on 02/16/10:
"Today I braved up and ate some broccoli."
My reply: "Hope it doesn't kill you..."
Him: "It didn't"
Me: "Oh good, because that would mean someone hijacked your phone while you were lying on the floor having the dying broccoli quivers!"
...oh boo...
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
LOLA BUNNY "OH BOO"
Lola, a Dutch rabbit breed, has been nesting lately - rearranging her surroundings, fluffing her bedding up, looking at the cats kind of funny...
A friend of our son's was over this weekend and has some larger breed bucks who need a girlfriend - I asked him to ask his mother if Lola was too small for any of them. She said it would be fine to breed her with their smallest buck.
Nancson and friend took Lola yesterday to be bred.
When Nancson returned home last night, I asked, "Soooooooooo, did Lola and the buck...you know...get together yet?"
His reply, "Mom, we put her in the cage with him and they bred like rabbits - anything else you need to know?"
...oh boo...
She'll be returning home Wednesday with a funny-bunny look on her face!
Tuesday, February 09, 2010
EYE DOCTOR "OH BOO"
I've recently been having some extremely discouraging vision problems. Started between Christmas and the new year. It began with pressure behind my eyes and later with blurred vision and ultimately what appeared to be lightening bolts flashing at the left side of my left eye.
Needless to say it put the scare in me. I'd rather lose my sense of smell, sense of hearing or sense of touch than my sense of sight - being an avid reader, losing my sight is a fate worse than death.
Pop took the day off to take me to an emergency appointment at the ophthalmologist - they took me right in and turned me every which way but loose as all the symptoms I was having pointed to a detached retina which would have required immediate surgery. YIKES!
Zgirl went with us and after about an hour's worth of excruciatingly irritating tests, the tech left the room and I called zgirl and pop into the room to keep me company.
They had to inspect the room with all the drawers and cabinet labels when zgirl came to one that stated "Foreign Body Removal Tool" and looked at pop and asked, "What's this one for?"
Pop's response, "That's to take all the illegal aliens out of your mother's eye."
...oh boo...
No, I do not have a detached retina but do have a small hemorrhage which could lead to one so will be having many follow-up appointments to keep a close watch on my vision. The doctor said my brain would block out many of the symptoms - like this big, freakin' grey blob that keeps getting in the way - NO! Swatting at it openly does no good...
...oh boo...
Needless to say it put the scare in me. I'd rather lose my sense of smell, sense of hearing or sense of touch than my sense of sight - being an avid reader, losing my sight is a fate worse than death.
Pop took the day off to take me to an emergency appointment at the ophthalmologist - they took me right in and turned me every which way but loose as all the symptoms I was having pointed to a detached retina which would have required immediate surgery. YIKES!
Zgirl went with us and after about an hour's worth of excruciatingly irritating tests, the tech left the room and I called zgirl and pop into the room to keep me company.
They had to inspect the room with all the drawers and cabinet labels when zgirl came to one that stated "Foreign Body Removal Tool" and looked at pop and asked, "What's this one for?"
Pop's response, "That's to take all the illegal aliens out of your mother's eye."
...oh boo...
No, I do not have a detached retina but do have a small hemorrhage which could lead to one so will be having many follow-up appointments to keep a close watch on my vision. The doctor said my brain would block out many of the symptoms - like this big, freakin' grey blob that keeps getting in the way - NO! Swatting at it openly does no good...
...oh boo...
Monday, February 01, 2010
MISSISSIPPI "OH BOO"
You may think this is a post about Mississippi - BUT IT'S NOT!
It's about Mz. Lola - we used to call her "Mississippi". She passed away this past July, but her spirit is still with us and she's been on my mind lately. We didn't always see eye to eye on many things (hardly ANY) but we loved her and her family just the same and had many great meals and holidays together.
This was the first in quite a few years our mountain family wasn't together for Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, and it was then I realized it was transition time.
Their family is what she liked to call, "LARGE AND IN CHARGE!" - yes, the three of them each weighed either close to or well over 300# apiece - that's a half-ton to you city folks. She used to tell me that I looked "poor" and when I questioned her about that, she said, "You know - too skinny!"
Mississippi is an entirely different country if you've never been there...
One Fourth of July, we had a big shindig/barbecue/potluck and theirs and a few other families came - They kept laughing and saying something at the table while nudging each other out of their way which I couldn't make out and finally had to ask them what was so funny - sure they were making fun of my food!
These larger-than-life people were saying, "There goes the buffet!" each time someone approached the food table - when I questioned them further they said that when their family would go to a chinese buffet, if a large person would come in, they'd look at one another and in unison say, "There goes the buffet." As in the other overweight people were going to take all the good stuff!
...oh boo...
It's about Mz. Lola - we used to call her "Mississippi". She passed away this past July, but her spirit is still with us and she's been on my mind lately. We didn't always see eye to eye on many things (hardly ANY) but we loved her and her family just the same and had many great meals and holidays together.
This was the first in quite a few years our mountain family wasn't together for Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, and it was then I realized it was transition time.
Their family is what she liked to call, "LARGE AND IN CHARGE!" - yes, the three of them each weighed either close to or well over 300# apiece - that's a half-ton to you city folks. She used to tell me that I looked "poor" and when I questioned her about that, she said, "You know - too skinny!"
Mississippi is an entirely different country if you've never been there...
One Fourth of July, we had a big shindig/barbecue/potluck and theirs and a few other families came - They kept laughing and saying something at the table while nudging each other out of their way which I couldn't make out and finally had to ask them what was so funny - sure they were making fun of my food!
These larger-than-life people were saying, "There goes the buffet!" each time someone approached the food table - when I questioned them further they said that when their family would go to a chinese buffet, if a large person would come in, they'd look at one another and in unison say, "There goes the buffet." As in the other overweight people were going to take all the good stuff!
...oh boo...
Thursday, January 28, 2010
O.T. "OH BOO"
This is one of those posts where I hate to venture for the mere fact I like to keep this light and airy - and then thought to myself - what is more light and airy than gays in the military?
Many have heard me say that if not for a gay cousin of mine (quite a bit older) taking me and my siblings under his wing, we would not have had such a great childhood - he bought us a Honda 50 to tear it up in a field across the street from our house; he took us to Disneyland, the San Diego Zoo, Sea World, the movies and was a joy to be around.
He was at our house regularly when he was stationed nearby - sharing meals and was like a big old brother. I love him. Back in the day the word "gay" had not been stolen by homosexuals and a rainbow was something only seen after a rain so we referred to him as "different". "Homo" was something only said in jest and never to a person who was "different"!
This whole business of offending gays in the military is, as my dear departed grandmother would call, "A CROCK OF HOOEY!" I agree - gays SHOULD be in the military - gays SHOULD have their own BRANCH of the military - gays SHOULD be sent in first to survey the situation (because who would give more detail to a situation?) - gays SHOULD have more rights in military combat because WHAT group of people have fought more for the rights to just be normal?
I do, however, draw the line at how this morning on Fox News, Adam Smith(D), Washington, describes HOW they are doing in the military - at least until they have their own branch of the military, "...fabulously..."
...oh boo...
Fabulously would be how I would describe how the draperies hang, or how someone like Halle Berry fits a gown, or a feeling after that first kiss...
Talk about Full Monty dialectics!
Is it my imagination or are the progressives trying to sissify our military? No offense to macho gays...
Crossposted here.
Many have heard me say that if not for a gay cousin of mine (quite a bit older) taking me and my siblings under his wing, we would not have had such a great childhood - he bought us a Honda 50 to tear it up in a field across the street from our house; he took us to Disneyland, the San Diego Zoo, Sea World, the movies and was a joy to be around.
He was at our house regularly when he was stationed nearby - sharing meals and was like a big old brother. I love him. Back in the day the word "gay" had not been stolen by homosexuals and a rainbow was something only seen after a rain so we referred to him as "different". "Homo" was something only said in jest and never to a person who was "different"!
This whole business of offending gays in the military is, as my dear departed grandmother would call, "A CROCK OF HOOEY!" I agree - gays SHOULD be in the military - gays SHOULD have their own BRANCH of the military - gays SHOULD be sent in first to survey the situation (because who would give more detail to a situation?) - gays SHOULD have more rights in military combat because WHAT group of people have fought more for the rights to just be normal?
I do, however, draw the line at how this morning on Fox News, Adam Smith(D), Washington, describes HOW they are doing in the military - at least until they have their own branch of the military, "...fabulously..."
...oh boo...
Fabulously would be how I would describe how the draperies hang, or how someone like Halle Berry fits a gown, or a feeling after that first kiss...
Talk about Full Monty dialectics!
Is it my imagination or are the progressives trying to sissify our military? No offense to macho gays...
Crossposted here.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
SHAMPOO & A SET "OH BOO"
here awhile back...
Pop had to go have a knee injury checked at the urgent care that all the guys in the company use - needless to say, it is run by ALL women - they loved him! They loved him so much, they'd call him when he was home to visit with ME to tell me how much they loved him...
They were due to have their grand opening within the second month of operation and were having open houses and raffles and drawings. Pop got in on that!
Then, he proceeded to forget about it after he didn't need to go back for any check ups. One day he got a call from their office to tell him that he'd won one of the drawings and he could come and collect.When he arrived, they snickered a little as they handed him his envelope with his prize in it.
What do you suppose it was?
A FREE SHAMPOO, CONDITIONING AND SET!
...oh boo...
Um, pop's totally bald...
Pop had to go have a knee injury checked at the urgent care that all the guys in the company use - needless to say, it is run by ALL women - they loved him! They loved him so much, they'd call him when he was home to visit with ME to tell me how much they loved him...
They were due to have their grand opening within the second month of operation and were having open houses and raffles and drawings. Pop got in on that!
Then, he proceeded to forget about it after he didn't need to go back for any check ups. One day he got a call from their office to tell him that he'd won one of the drawings and he could come and collect.When he arrived, they snickered a little as they handed him his envelope with his prize in it.
What do you suppose it was?
A FREE SHAMPOO, CONDITIONING AND SET!
...oh boo...
Um, pop's totally bald...
Friday, January 15, 2010
BLACKBERRY4 "OH BOO"
Okay, so I AM a techtard.
I went to take a photo with my BB and stuck the little round circle from the photo on the right up to my eye and said to zgirl - "I CAN'T SEE A THING WITH THIS!"
Zgirl, "Turn it around, mama..."
...oh boo...
Monday, January 11, 2010
01/09/10 "OH BOO"
Zgirl went to the championship homeschool basketball games this afternoon.
We watched "Full Metal Jacket"...just because I'd never seen it before...oh boo...
Built a big salad, steamed some broccoli and made some scalloped potatoes to go with what pop had on the 'cue.
It's served up and nancson asks, "Oh, what's this - gamish corn hens?"
...oh boo...
After supper, pop, in all seriousness says, "I think I'm getting a feeling down here in my...(points to his throat)...philosophical tubes."
...oh boo...
NORM CROSBY - WHERE ARE YOU?!?
Malapropisms Galore!
We watched "Full Metal Jacket"...just because I'd never seen it before...oh boo...
Built a big salad, steamed some broccoli and made some scalloped potatoes to go with what pop had on the 'cue.
It's served up and nancson asks, "Oh, what's this - gamish corn hens?"
...oh boo...
After supper, pop, in all seriousness says, "I think I'm getting a feeling down here in my...(points to his throat)...philosophical tubes."
...oh boo...
NORM CROSBY - WHERE ARE YOU?!?
Malapropisms Galore!
Wednesday, January 06, 2010
NANCPOP DAD "OH BOO"
Pop and I were reminiscing here awhile back about special people in our lives and he recalled one of his friends growing up, a young black fellow (Richard) who had a stutter.
He, pop and pop's dad would always go fishing together throughout his high school years and after that lost touch for awhile.
One day many years later, Richard stopped by the ranch to catch up on old times and go fishing. Pop was so glad to see him and apparently so was pop's pop - he got all excited, grabbed him to shake his hand or hug him and said, "Richard, I haven't seen you in a 'coon's age!"
...oh boo...
Then followed it up with this, "No offense."
...oh boo...
My poor mother-in-law...
He, pop and pop's dad would always go fishing together throughout his high school years and after that lost touch for awhile.
One day many years later, Richard stopped by the ranch to catch up on old times and go fishing. Pop was so glad to see him and apparently so was pop's pop - he got all excited, grabbed him to shake his hand or hug him and said, "Richard, I haven't seen you in a 'coon's age!"
...oh boo...
Then followed it up with this, "No offense."
...oh boo...
My poor mother-in-law...
Thursday, December 31, 2009
BLACKBERRY3 "OH BOO"
We were at the cabin for Thanksgiving and one day pop decided he was going trout fishing on the world famous "White River" before the children and our company returned.
I kept myself busy getting ready to house an extra five people and decided to watch his and my own favorite movie ever made, Paint Your Wagon.
After an hour or so I called him to see if he was having any luck and tell him I was watching the movie. Nope, no bites whatsoever and the water was up and as clear as could be.
One of our favorite parts in the movie came on so I decided to text him:
"Mooney, there's a woman in the saloon with a baby pressed against her breast."
His response:
"HA! I love that part!"
My next text:
"lt ain't every day that we got a woman in Atwell's - pressing her breast with her baby."
His response:
"That's FUNNY!"
My next text:
"there's a woman in Atwell's pressing her breast to the saloon."
No response...
So I text him this one last time:
"There's a breast in Atwell's pressing a woman against her."
A couple of minutes pass and his response comes back:
"HAG"
Okay, so I'm thinking, "Is he calling me a hag? or Elizabeth who is the woman in the saloon pressing her breast against it?"
...oh boo...
He gets home a few hours later, two trout heavier and I ask him why he responded back with a "HAG"?
He looked at me like I had sprouted angel wings and stated, "I sent you back a message that said HA!"
...oh boo...
So now I need BETTER glasses!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, POP!
I kept myself busy getting ready to house an extra five people and decided to watch his and my own favorite movie ever made, Paint Your Wagon.
After an hour or so I called him to see if he was having any luck and tell him I was watching the movie. Nope, no bites whatsoever and the water was up and as clear as could be.
One of our favorite parts in the movie came on so I decided to text him:
"Mooney, there's a woman in the saloon with a baby pressed against her breast."
His response:
"HA! I love that part!"
My next text:
"lt ain't every day that we got a woman in Atwell's - pressing her breast with her baby."
His response:
"That's FUNNY!"
My next text:
"there's a woman in Atwell's pressing her breast to the saloon."
No response...
So I text him this one last time:
"There's a breast in Atwell's pressing a woman against her."
A couple of minutes pass and his response comes back:
"HAG"
Okay, so I'm thinking, "Is he calling me a hag? or Elizabeth who is the woman in the saloon pressing her breast against it?"
...oh boo...
He gets home a few hours later, two trout heavier and I ask him why he responded back with a "HAG"?
He looked at me like I had sprouted angel wings and stated, "I sent you back a message that said HA!"
...oh boo...
So now I need BETTER glasses!
HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, POP!
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
OH-OH-OH
BLESSINGS AND PEACE BE THE RULE OF THE DAY - EVERY DAY!
JOYEUX NOEL!
JOYEUX NOEL!
Isaiah 9:6 - For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.
Amen
Monday, December 21, 2009
LETTERS TO SANTA "OH BOO"
We get a big kick out of "Letters to Santa" every year - and this year is no exception. Here are a few, written by area first graders, we were reading and having a good laugh over this weekend:
This little guy is an Eddie Haskell in the making - "Nice dress Mrs. Cleaver."
I could get along with a person like this! ...ohboohoo...
Mr. Obsessed with everything noisy and stinky said, "I pooted some Christmas cookies just this morning!"
A new black compytr will certainly help him only if he understands the concept of "spellcheck". Yeah, yeah, yeah - I know, first grade - here in Arkansas he could be 10 or 11 years old however!
There were quite a few where the children asked only for special favor in the case of sick loved ones and those made me cry a little - "oh boo moments" is not for tears of sadness and I ask that you just keep those wee ones in your prayers.
Dear Santa:
You are a dear Santa. I
said, "Mom, here is a dear
Santa." Would you bring me
a video game?
Love, XXXXX
You are a dear Santa. I
said, "Mom, here is a dear
Santa." Would you bring me
a video game?
Love, XXXXX
This little guy is an Eddie Haskell in the making - "Nice dress Mrs. Cleaver."
Dear Santa:
You say hoohoo. I say
hoohoo. Everbody say
hoohoo.
Love, XXXXXXX
You say hoohoo. I say
hoohoo. Everbody say
hoohoo.
Love, XXXXXXX
I could get along with a person like this! ...ohboohoo...
Dear Santa:
How is miss clause? I
would like to have a game
and super hero cards. I'm
going to get a table and
poot cookies on it for you.
Love, XXXX
How is miss clause? I
would like to have a game
and super hero cards. I'm
going to get a table and
poot cookies on it for you.
Love, XXXX
Mr. Obsessed with everything noisy and stinky said, "I pooted some Christmas cookies just this morning!"
Dear Santa,
I will leave cookies for
you. How are the raindeer
doing? I want a black
laptop compytr for Christmas.
Frum XXXXX
I will leave cookies for
you. How are the raindeer
doing? I want a black
laptop compytr for Christmas.
Frum XXXXX
A new black compytr will certainly help him only if he understands the concept of "spellcheck". Yeah, yeah, yeah - I know, first grade - here in Arkansas he could be 10 or 11 years old however!
There were quite a few where the children asked only for special favor in the case of sick loved ones and those made me cry a little - "oh boo moments" is not for tears of sadness and I ask that you just keep those wee ones in your prayers.
Friday, December 18, 2009
CHRISTMAS GOODIES "OH BOO"
My husband's engineer's wife and I have been sending baked goodies, homemade candy, and home canned goods for the past couple of weeks to keep all the guys in the holiday spirit.
Today, she sent "date nut logs" and he gave pop one to bring home - one of pop's operators went to unwrap it and asked, "Mmmmm, what's this?" Pop replied, "It's a stool sample."
...oh boo...
Needless to say, he frantically re-wrapped it and set it back where he found it! Wonder what he's been telling them all the treats I've been sending are?!?
Sunday, December 13, 2009
F.I.L. GOLF "OH BOO"
I love my father in law - if you ever had the opportunity to be around him and me, you'd think I don't like him, but I really, really like him.
You see, he is SOOOOOOOOOOOO full of himself and I CANNOT stop myself from pointing it out to him at every turn - he'll be going on and on about some great thing he believes he's done and everyone will be hanging on his every word and suddenly he'll stop and look at me like, "Well, what do YOU think?"
I will generally say something like, "Oh, do go on - it IS all about you, dad." And, my mother in law will do that Betty Rubble giggle and look at me like, "NOBODY EVER talks to him like that - you go girl!"
Anyhoo, we got him to take up golf a number of years ago and at first he'd take only one driver and a ball to the course and just hit it all over the place and probably quit once he lost THE only ball. Mostly he just liked to see how far he could hit it and then just brag about it until the next farthest hit.
He recently got a little more serious and actually goes out now at pre-arranged tee times with other more serious golfers for actual rounds of golf.
A few weeks ago, a professional golfer came to the course and just wanted to get in a practice round and my f-i-l and his partner were the only team he could slide in on so they good-naturedly accepted them into their time slot.
Things were going quite well until f-i-l's rooster hormones kicked in and he actually started heckling every bad shot the pro made - his partner trying to shush him, but once he gets going it is nigh on impossible to get him back on track again.
The pro was becoming visibly upset at my f-i-l's lack of golf etiquette and as a result badly hooked one of his drives off into neverland - my f-i-l abruptly stated, "Maybe you ought to put some cowbells on your balls before the next drive!"
...oh boo...
You see, he is SOOOOOOOOOOOO full of himself and I CANNOT stop myself from pointing it out to him at every turn - he'll be going on and on about some great thing he believes he's done and everyone will be hanging on his every word and suddenly he'll stop and look at me like, "Well, what do YOU think?"
I will generally say something like, "Oh, do go on - it IS all about you, dad." And, my mother in law will do that Betty Rubble giggle and look at me like, "NOBODY EVER talks to him like that - you go girl!"
Anyhoo, we got him to take up golf a number of years ago and at first he'd take only one driver and a ball to the course and just hit it all over the place and probably quit once he lost THE only ball. Mostly he just liked to see how far he could hit it and then just brag about it until the next farthest hit.
He recently got a little more serious and actually goes out now at pre-arranged tee times with other more serious golfers for actual rounds of golf.
A few weeks ago, a professional golfer came to the course and just wanted to get in a practice round and my f-i-l and his partner were the only team he could slide in on so they good-naturedly accepted them into their time slot.
Things were going quite well until f-i-l's rooster hormones kicked in and he actually started heckling every bad shot the pro made - his partner trying to shush him, but once he gets going it is nigh on impossible to get him back on track again.
The pro was becoming visibly upset at my f-i-l's lack of golf etiquette and as a result badly hooked one of his drives off into neverland - my f-i-l abruptly stated, "Maybe you ought to put some cowbells on your balls before the next drive!"
...oh boo...
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