"OH BOO" ICE STORMS

in the early winter of, 2001 i believe, we experienced our first ice/snow/freezing rain storms and it was shortly after we began building our cabin. we were framed in and had the housewrap on. oh sure it was cold and miserable, but when you're with people you love more than two-ply toilet paper, it's worth the experience.

nine days of being cabin bound with two small children...no washing machine...christmas approaching rapidly...the shopping's not done...nothing is done...but that's another story.

this story involves a conversation i was having at the school today with another parent as we reflected back on that time.

her husband was in california on business and it was she and her daughter at home all alone and the power went out for three days. meanwhile, he was enjoying himself in shorts somewhere on a beach or some such nonsense.

they had no idea how long they'd be without power so decided to move into the livingroom with the fireplace and play like they were camping out - even cooking in the fireplace on a grate her f-i-l had made just for that purpose. they moved all their camping equipment in there and had the time of their lives.

she said the worst part was not having a bath or shower for three days and when her husband got home she let him know! he asked her why she didn't have a bath for three days and she told him, "because i didn't know if the hot water would work with the power off."

him, "um, honey? we have a gas water heater."

...oh boo...

our bathing activities when we were snow/iced in for nine freakin' days - we melted snow and boiled it on our woodstove - believe me, a five gallon bucket of snow DOES NOT equal five gallons of water.

...oh boo...

"OH BOO" COMPANY FOR DINNER

so tonight pop made stir fry, and i made pork fried rice, a green salad and french bread, sweet tea and coffee.

our little went to the razorbacks game and we invited the neighbors to supper. a good time was had by all and it was time - i mean TIME for them to go. you know when it's time.

all kidding aside, i told them i was glad they got to see me and the man of the family said his brother in law tells his wife when they're over for supper, "honey, let's go to bed so THESE PEOPLE can leave!"

...oh boo...

which reminds me of another story...

pop was going out of town to work, here awhile back, and ma was over visiting and as she was leaving, she said, "i'm going to miss you son." pop replied, "how can you miss me if you won't go away?"

BWAH!

"OH BOO" TEACHER SEX

i've been concerned for the past several years about the spate of female teachers having sexual relations with their students and this morning spoke with nancson about this phenomenon on the way to school.

"son - WHAT do you think about all these teachers having sex with their students?!?"

"mom - i imagine it's the hardest on the homeschooled kidz..."

...oh boo...

ohdang i wish he was shorter, uglier and had no sense of humor...or a personality for that matter!

INAUGURATION "OH BOO"

i try to keep this site off the political spectrum, but i've been hearing rumors that people of faith are actually praying for bad weather for the inauguration. now, i'm NOT a prayer warrior so much as a person who will say, "God, not my will but Yours be done." or "the Lord will do what He sees fit."

i'm not one to wish bad on my enemies and usually just walk away to never really give their transgressions against me many more thoughts other than to salve my wounds. most people who truly know me also know that although i am disgusted with the incoming administration i really wish them well as decisions they make will be either detrimental or for the good of ALL of u.s.

if people are praying that there's bad weather for the inauguration, they are more than likely praying to the wrong god.

here's the weather outlook for inauguration day:

"WASHINGTON – "I knew it would be a cold day when I was made president," William Howard Taft joked just a century ago, taking office in 1909 in what has been described as the worst inaugural weather ever.

Ten inches of snow fell. Wind downed trees and telephone poles. Streets were clogged and trains stalled.

And that was when presidents were sworn in in March."

...oh boo...

updated weather for deecee.

"oh boo" moment summer 2000

you all remember the song, "one of these things is not like the other - one of these things just doesn't belong!"

it was the summer of 2000...

we were staying at a friend's ranch while helping him build his square-d log cabin - that's right - we camped the entire summer right into fall - nearly four months which is one of the most beautiful sights you'll NEVER see as i've lost most of the photos...1st oh boo...

the place is exquisite and right on a creek. i was elected chief cook and bottle washer, laundress and keeper and user of the mower and weedeater. i didn't mind - everyone had jobs. there were actually a couple few families helping out.

it didn't take long for the lawn chairs to start giving out (for those of you who don't know southern - giving out means "dying") - left and right they were folding up like cheap accordians.

the owner of the property who looks like a combo of the guys in photo #3 marveled, "what the hell is wrong with lawn chairs these days - they're so cheap!!!"

i finally got sick of hearing him after about 11 lawn chairs folded up on him and crumbled to the ground and said, "excuse me, tubby, but if you look at the label it will tell you the gbw (gross body weight) for the chair - most of these are rated at 180-200 and you're a whopping 280 pounds! GET A CLUE FATSO!"

...oh boo...

the next weekend, pop, the small children and i were moving up to our mountain with only our belongings and a 28 foot camp trailer to ride the winter out which also happened to be a HUNDRED YEAR WINTER! and i'll save THAT story for another time.

one of the very best things about being me is that i'm always up for an adventure and pop knowing this also knew that i'd never leave him nor forsake him - true to the very end, which thankfully we haven't seen.

we bought new lawn chairs the very next summer and had our fat friend over for the fourth of july. remind me sometime to tell you of the nightmare i have of this fellow...not to worry - i'll leave out the part where he clobbercated our 11 inch pet copperhead while we were off just being normal.

...oh boo...

"OH BOO" POST-IT-NOTE REPRISAL

oh boo moment #2

you cannot make this stuff up and my imagination isn't that large so it's no wonder these events actually take place in MY world. as my schweetie says, "it's your world, babe - the rest of us are just passing through it!"

before i left work today, i put a post-it-love-note "who loves you?" on some cash on my husband's desk. he likes that...the cash part.

i called the office to ask him to pick up pizza on his way home and he said, "okay." what else could he say? it was ME asking, not sandra bullock!

as he handed the pizza guy the folded money, he looked at my husband strangely so my husband looked back puzzled. it was probably like a hillbilly standoff. i guess after a moment of silence the kid pulled the pink post-it-note off the money and handed it back to my husband. OH BOO!

my husband quickly said (and i paraphrase), "oh, that wasn't from me to you! to which the pizza guy responded, "oh, good."

now my husband's all ROFLHAO, thinking the pizza guy probably thinks he's been stalking him! we now need to find a new pizza place...

originally published by nanc @ longrange.

BIRTH CONTROL "OH BOO"

photo courtesy u.s.a. today.

A young lady asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night to meet and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, she announces to her boyfriend that after dinner she would like to go out and make love for the first time .

The boyfriend is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. He tells the pharmacist it's his first time and the pharmacist helps the him for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex.

At the register, the pharmacist asks the young fellow how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. He insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, he shows up at his girlfriend's parent's house and meets her at the door. 'Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!'

He goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the her parents are seated. The young man quickly offers to say grace and bows his head.

A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer with his head down. Ten minutes pass and still no indication he's going to halt the prayer. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was the pharmacist."

...oh boo...

CHURCH "OH BOO"

it was a great day at church this first sunday of the new year!

the music exceptional - the church we usually attend is like being at a "gaither family" reunion - so many seasoned musicians and singers and most of them over 50.

at the end of the service, our pastor said, "i want you all to look around and if there's somebody here you don't see, get in touch with them and tell them we missed them today."

...oh boo...

"OH BOO" CLAWEDY-BOY

this is some scary stuff, so make sure you have your blankie and a flashlight handy. there're a few more items to this story which i'll skip for now - just bringing you the main course:

here awhile back, after a trip to the cabin, for several days clawedy-boy was scared witless - hiding in our room under the bed and looking up at the ceiling - i believe he went four days without eating and when i'd get ahold of him he'd just stare at the ceiling and claw his way out of my arms.

for most of those days i thought to myself, "what if somebody came into our house while we were gone and hurt him and then went into the attic?" expressing my concerns to the eyerolling nancpop - he said, "okay, babe - to make you feel better we'll go up into the attic and see if anybody's been up there...dayamed cat...mutter...mutter..."

he did the first inspection and called me up so i could see for myself that if ANYBODY'D gone up into that attic, we'd surely have noticed a mess beneath the crawl space as the attic is FILLED with cellulose!

then a strange thing occurred - i noticed the hall light which we usually leave on when we're gone for more than a day wasn't working - i took the cover off and noticed the bulb had blown out of the socket and broken - so i safely replaced it. as we don't used this party cooler light that often it was quite a few days later that i turned it on and IT EXPLODED! BOOM! okay, so it wasn't quite that loud, but loud enough for clawedy to head back under the bed with me on his tail!

upon a closer look at the fixture, there came into my vision a tiny little sticker that stated in bold print "USE ONLY 60 WATT BULBS OR LESS". i'd put 75 watt bulbs in there.

...oh boo...

oh, sure clawedy still hates the light fixtures and the children like to tease him by turning it off and on in his presence just to see him fly under the bed.

a sidenote, you never know if there's someone in your attic unless you check...

...oh boo...

DSA OF THE WEEK "OH BOO"

this one is slightly reminiscent of the one where the guy went in to rob a bank a few years ago and not only was his moniker "bob" over his pocket, but the name of the company he worked for on the back of his shirt.

...oh stinkin' boo...

DSA = dumb shit attack. hey, we all have them.

"OH BOO" DEER CAMP

four guys were at deer camp. they had to bunk two to a room.

no one wanted to room with nancpop because he snored so badly. they decided it wasn't fair to make one of them stay with him the whole time, so they voted to take turns.

the first night, aay-jay slept in nancpop's room and came to breakfast the next morning with his hair a mess and his eyes all bloodshot.

the rest of the guys said, "man, what happened to you?"

He said, "nancpop snored so loudly, i just sat up and watched him all night."
the next night it was clyde's turn. in the morning, same thing-- hair all standing up, eyes all blood-shot. once again they asked, "man, what happened to you? you look awful!"

he said, "man, that nancpop shakes the roof. i couldn't sleep a wink. i just watched him all night."

The third night was phillip's (we'll refer to him from now on as "BADGER") turn. badger was a big burly guy who loved to fish and hunt -- a man's man.

The next morning he came to breakfast bright tailed and bushy eyed. "good morning," he said. the guys couldn't believe it! they said, "badger, what happened?"

he said, "well, we got ready for bed. i went and tucked nancpop into bed and kissed him good night. he sat up and watched ME all night long."

now, for a TRUE story:

it is said in certain deer hunting circles that you eat the heart of your first "kill".

okay - enter a bunch of ackward's bass hicks (which reminds me of another "oh boo" moment) from the sticks about twenty-five years ago - at about that same time at least two of them were a couple of my best friends - and i'll claim them now - aay-jay and badger. they were also two of pop's best friends - one since second grade (the best eight years of pop's life!).

they were out partying as a quadruple of guys whose wimmenfolk were probably at a lingerie party or some such nonsense.

at a certain point in the evening they decided to send the badger into town for some "supplies" - rhymes with "coors". on his way to the party store he hit a deer with clyde's truck so it only seemed right that he should pick it up and bring it back on his way home.

none of them knowing exactly what to do next called the father figure, les. les showed up to give instructions on the proper care and handling of deer that's been shot by a speeding toyota - at one point he said, "on your first kill you're supposed to take a big bite out of the heart." as they had the deer pretty much gutted at that point - one of them reached into the chest cavity and yanked out the first thing they got ahold of and took a big bite out of it!

as they were bent over hurling they handed it to the next guy who in turn did the same thing and then it came to pop's turn and he looked at the organ and said, "this looks like a lung to me - i'm not taking a bite of it!"

...oh boo...

these guys must've been too full to eat the heart...oh boo...

"OH BOO" IQ

okay, so i barely skated through the "civics" test with a c+...

a couple of weeks ago the small children (16 & 17) challenged me to take the following test, one taunting me that i couldn't beat her 132 score and the other with a 133.


Free-IQTest.net - IQ Test

according to this synopsis:

120 - 140 - Very superior intelligence.

thank GOD i didn't score over 140 - genius IS next to insanity! at least that's what i told my first grade teacher when she questioned me on my "abstract" art project...

...oh boo...

sidenote: is there a negative on the iq scale?

OHBOOBLAGOHBOO

he only used it once! LMBFTO!

AN "OH BOO" RECIPE

i'm going to call this "next-time-you're-sick-stay-home-where-you-belong-instead-of-going-out-willy-nilly-infecting-innocent AND unsuspecting-people-with-this-hacking-up-smurfs, head-throbbing, gut wrenching, sneezing, fever, miss-the-children's-christmas-program, spicy, chicken tortilla soup" recipe:

chop and set aside:

one medium tomato
one small white onion
two stalks of celery (about a 1/2 cup)
one bunch of cilantro - leaves only - to prepare, i usually run them under cold water, shake the excess water off and roll up in about three paper towels to dry - then use a pair of kitchen shears to cut to about 1/4-1/2 inch wide.

in a two to three quart stockpot put:

4-6 cups water (depending upon the size of the chicken breast)
1 chicken breast
1 tsp. salt
1 tbs. garlic POWDER
1 tsp. hot chili powder
3-4 chicken bouillon cubes

over high heat, stirring until it comes to a boil; turn down to a simmer for about 15 minutes until chicken is well done. remove chicken from broth adding chopped veggies to broth. cube chicken and return to broth. simmer covered on low heat for about a half hour or until vegetables are glassy yet still firm.

in your soup bowls, place a 2x2 inch cube of monterey jack cheese - spoon hot soup over cheese and serve with crumbled corn tortilla chips. you may also wish to add some cayenne pepper to taste because at this point your taste buds are pretty shot and everything tastes like nothing.

enjoy~! or at the very least believe you are doing something good for yourself...

"OH BOO" MOMENT 072908

this should be an "oh boo" moment 080108, the day i called my mother on her birthday, but i'm taking it back a day or three to the original event.

both our children THINK they're ready to get their driver permits. they're allowed to take the written test each and every tuesday until they give up or the sheriff gets sick of them.

last week was the second attempt for one and the first for the other. they both failed miserably. please give them a break - they've only been studying for a year and IT IS arkansas.

all the way to the test they argued back and forth about who would drive home - i settled it with a, "whoever passes with the highest score gets to drive home." three plus miles away.

i figured since we were in town i'd get the tags paid for on all our vehicles which meant a trip to the assessor's office and bank - while the children were in the basement taking their written tests. oh sure, there should have been time to spare, but when i returned from the bank - there they were outside the assessor's office looking somewhat haggard.

as i gazed into my favorite son's face asking, "sooooooooo, didja pass?", he was quick to tell me, "i didn't pass, mama - AND neither did ____!!!"

okay, so IIIIIIIIIII had to drive home - and frankly i'm getting somewhat tired of it. i called pop and told him as i knew he was waiting on pins and needles hoping they would fail. by that time it was close to lunchtime - he said, "thank GOD! it was freaking me out that you'd LET one of them drive THE CAR home~!" IT'S WHAT I LIVE FOR!

on the way home i was asking them which questions they missed - only ONE stood out in their minds and i must admit it was quite the miss as they see billboards all over the place about it and our son wanted to philosophize about it and i finally just had to shut him down.

later that week i called my mother to wish her a happy birthday and was going over the events of the week and when i got to the part about the children going to get their permits, she just blasted out laughing like a wildwoman! i said, "calm yourself before you have to change your depends!"

she went on to tell me that she had had to go take a written test last year for the first time in 55 YEARS! my mother further stated that the "kid" administering the test laughed when she told him how long it had been for her and he told her she'd do fine.

upon finishing the written test she returned it to the "kid" and he about fell over the counter in a belly roll of guffaws and asked her, "now what should you do when you see a blind person with a white cane step off a curb in front of you?"

my mother, in all her little old lady ways said, "honk?" he responded, "WHAT? do you want to give the poor guy a heart attack?"

when she was telling me about this incident, i said, "mom, please don't tell me that you checked the "HONK" box?"

jeesh, everybody knows you should just run every person down who steps off the curb in front of you...oh boo...

"OH BOO" Moment 092308

nancson has been waiting and waiting to get his driver's license for months - yesterday he finally got to try out for the team...of licensed drivers.

seven other anxious teens got there ahead of us so it was well over an hour wait - no problem, i had an iced tea and reading material. he came unprepared. sound familiar?

his turn was up and off he went with the officer, me left behind hoping the officer would help him see the err of his driver ways - i said, "not my will, but YOURS BE DONE, LORD!"

twenty minutes later they pull up and i thought to ease the tension i'd go up and jerk the passenger door open and ask officer "j", "ARE YOU OKAY???" he exited the vehicle laughing stating he was fine and that nancson was a very good driver, but he had a difficult time stopping at STOP signs...

i asked him, "what do you mean?" he replied, "your son doesn't seem to take the signs at their word "STOP"!" nancson responded, "well, if there's nobody coming can't i just barely stop and keep on going?" officer "j" snickered and said, "if they DIDN'T want you to stop, the sign would say something like "if you don't see anybody coming go ahead and DON'T stop."

...first oh boo...

we spoke for a moment and the officer told him that if he didn't fix the problem by next week, he'd make him go a month before he'd test him again. point. set. match.

sooooooooo, i get into the passenger side of the vehicle (i do not want to destroy his now fragile psyche) and decide to allow him to drive me home as i'm LMBFTO because of the affirmation the officer has given me AND his father - as soon as my eyes clear through the sound of him saying, "PLEASE STOP LAUGHING AT ME, MOM!" i see DIRECTLY in front of my car a blue and white sign...and i ask, "do you see THAT sign in front of THIS car?" "yeah, mama - that's another thing..."

...oh boo...

"OH BOO" MOMENT 112908

if this were silver and about ten times messier it would be my hair. no lie.

about six or so years ago i was complaining to my neighbor, ma, about not being able to tame my hair so she sent a bottle of this to me. not really realizing what it was for i began using it and it tamed my hair down to soft and shiny ringlets. after awhile i thought, "where can i find some more?" so i went looking for it.

lo and behold i found it at walmart! in the black hair care section! "who cares?!?", was my first thought and then, "heayyyyyyy, what was ma thinking?"

...oh boo...

ah, but there's more:

this past weekend while i was washing pop's back in the bathhouse he asked me, "babe - have you ever noticed what it says on the back of that hair stuff in the blue and white bottle?" "why no - as long as it works i don't care! - why do you ask?" "on the back of the bottle in the lower left corner it says, THE PROUD LADY 100% BLACK OWNED, don't you think that's a little racist?" "you're sh*tting me, right?" "no, look for yourself." so i did. sho-nuff! that's what it say!

...oh boo...

or do you think i need to find a new hair care product?

...oh boo...

check it out yourselves next time you're in walmart or a beauty supply shop.

"OH BOO" THANKSGIVING '08

anybody know what happens if you put a cup of popcorn inside the turkey as stuffing?

...oh boo...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING EVERYBODY!

it appears THANKSGIVING is more a CHRISTIAN holiday than christmas! ...wonder when they'll try to take it away from u.s.?

...oh boo...

"OH BOO" CIVICS TEST

according to this article by kathleen parker:

" A new report from the Intercollegiate Studies Institute (ISI) on the nation's civic literacy finds that most Americans are too ignorant to vote.

Out of 2,500 American quiz-takers, including college students, elected officials and other randomly selected citizens, nearly 1,800 flunked a 33-question test on basic civics. In fact, elected officials scored slightly lower than the general public with an average score of 44 percent compared to 49 percent.

Only 0.8 percent of all test-takers scored an "A."

take the test!

i took the test and this is the result:

You answered 24 out of 33 correctly — 72.73 %

Average score for this quiz during November: 78.0%
Average score: 78.0%

...oh boo...

although i scored higher than many elected officials i'll be studying civics for the rest of the week...

...oh boo...

S.A.D.S. "OH BOO" 112408

honestly, i'm trying to keep this site off world events, politics and religion, but sometimes you're handed something that just makes you smack your forehead and say:

OH BOO!

i will thank the Lord that (more than likely) NONE of these people will reproduce.

hattip: moonbattery

f.y.i. - S.A.D.S. = stupid arse dumb sh*t - be glad it's not you!