"OH BOO" moments...

"OH BOO" circa 1977

2010-06-04T00:01:00.000-05:00

I was taking some sort of class that year and my mother acquiesced to watching nancdaughter the eldest (nte) after school for but a half hour or so a couple of days a week.

My mother did seasonal work and would usually be getting home about the time nte would be getting off the bus. She would bring her inside her home, sit her down, give her a snack, turn cartoons on and go to bed and I would arrive a short time later to pick her up.

Worked out quite well until one day my mom said to me, "Could you PUHLEEZE ask nte to STOP throwing her banana peels under my dining room table?" I asked, "Huh?" Mom, "Yes, every single time I get up later in the day and there under the table is a banana peel - now you know I don't care if she eats all the bananas - just ask her to put the peels in the garbage." "Okay, mom."

"Nte, grammy wants you to put the banana peels in the garbage after you eat one instead of on the floor under the table, okay?" Nte with puzzled look on her face, "I don't eat grammy's bananas!" "Grammy says you're eating her bananas and throwing the peels on the floor." "NO! I'M NOT!"

Okay so I believed her - five year olds have usually not honed the art of lying so well at that age and I went to my mom and said, "Mom, nte says she DID NOT throw banana peels on the floor under your table." Mom responded huffily, "Well then, I'll just have to prove it to you by staying up and sneaking down the hallway and just watch her and then you'll HAVE to believe ME!" Whatever, mom...

A few days later and one of the FEW times my mother has EVER apologized to me, she ashamedly told me, "I'm sorry, but it wasn't nte eating and throwing the banana peels under the table. I snuck down the hallway and just watched and she sat in front of the t.v. watching a cartoon the whole time. Then Waffles (her favorite child - a dog, btw) got up on the table, tore a banana off the bunch, jumped down under the table, bit at the peel until it came off, ate the banana and left the dayamed peel right there!"

...oh boo...

ZGIRL "OH BOO"

2010-05-24T00:01:00.000-05:00

here awhile back...

At church during the sermon, zgirl passes me a note on a notecard intended for her to take notes on the sermon which read:

"One of the ladies behind us is a gossip!"

...oh boo...

(090909)

CROQUE MONSIEUR "OH BOO"

2010-05-10T00:01:00.000-05:00

Photo courtesy Karma Free Cooking.

So, nancson calls home and asks pop to drag out his Croque Monsieur recipe.

I ask pop, "What did your son want?"

"He wanted me to get his ham sammy recipe out."

...oh boo...

TICK WARNING "OH BOO"

2010-04-27T01:15:00.001-05:00

TICK WARNING! I hate it when people post bogus warnings, but this one is real. Please repost this in your FB status! If someone comes to your front door saying they are checking for ticks due to the warm weather and asks you to take your clothes off and dance around with your arms up, DO NOT DO IT! THIS IS A SCAM! They only want to see you naked. I wish I'd gotten this yesterday. I feel so stupid.

...oh boo...

From one of my FB friends, Stephanie! She kills me!

ZGIRL NEW SUITOR "OH BOO"

2010-04-26T00:01:00.000-05:00

Zgirl and her BF of nearly three years have parted ways. It didn't take long for a new one to find out she is now single.

So, they're in a conversation and she has some points she will not sway on and we are ever so thankful for her levelheadedness.

She asks him, "What type of extracurricular activities do you like?"

Him, "Oh, football and basketball."

Her, "You ever play golf?" (Prerequisite to being involved with someone in our family - a 20 year tradition)

Him, "Tried once and accidentally threw the club through a window." (Like THAT should count for something!)

Her, "I'm pretty sure that's NOT how you play." (HELLOH!)

...oh boo...

BREEDING RABBITS "OH BOO"

2010-04-11T23:13:00.001-05:00

Pop to a prospective friend a few years ago:

"So, you breed rabbits?"

"Yes I do."

"Tell me how you get through that little door on their cage!"

...oh boo...

NEED A HAND "OH BOO" REPRISAL

2010-04-07T00:01:00.000-05:00

oh boo moment #3!

But first a word from our sponsor:

Fuel was under $2.70 today! Which reminds me of another story altogether. Once or thrice when I went in to pay for mine and the children were with me, I'd go to the register and say, "I had a little gas on pump 4 - but I'm over it now!" my kidz won't go with me to pay for gasoline anymore...

And now to the next installment of "oh boo" moments!

My dear, sweet husband who absotively adores me CANNOT drive by a motorist in need. There could be several on the way home and he'll go miles out of his way to help them, or go get sodas or water for them while they await the tow truck or whoever. He'll even take them home or go get gas for them.

Once on a back road to work in Ellensburg, Washington, there was a truckload of male Indians (fisheaters) sitting by the side of the snow-covered road with a flat tire. he pulled over and asked if he could do anything and they, of course, said they needed there tire changed. So while they sat in their cozy warm truck, he changed their tire and went on his merry way.

Here in the semi-south we say, "Here awhile back" which could mean yesterday or a month ago.

Well, here awhile back when he was on his way somewhere over yonder he passed a man stranded by the side of the road with his hood up and he was up under it. It was a busy highway by Arkansas standards - twelve to seventeen vehicles an hour at least!

He pulled up to the guy and hollered out the window, "HEY, YOU NEED A HAND?" The guy came out from under the hood and turned around and lo and behold he was missing one of his HANDS! He said, "WHAT?" my husband, who by now was probably red as a beet said, "Um, do you need any help?". To which he replied, "Oh, no thanks help is on the way."

almost an oh boo moment...

WHEN DOGS TALK "OH BOO"

2010-03-31T23:30:00.000-05:00

POTTED PLANT "OH BOO"

2010-03-23T00:01:00.000-05:00

On 09/16/09, four-year-old grandson said to his mother, NTE, ""MOM! Your pot plant is growing bigger!" "That's POTTED plant, son!"

...oh boo...

CLAWEDY BOY "OH BOO"

2010-03-14T00:01:00.000-06:00

It was a dark and stormy night...

No, really. Pop had just turned in and Clawed Mewnet is scared of the thunderstorm so he climbs onto the bed with him - as Clawedy-boy is climbing all over Pop, Pop says to him, "Hear that, Clawed? That's God shooting at cats, yeah."

...oh boo...

(9/21/09)

NEW ELEMENT FOUND "OH BOO"

2010-03-09T23:29:00.001-06:00

FOUND AT A TPP FRIEND'S F/B:

"New Element Discovered in Cambridge to be Included in the Periodic Table

The Cavendish Nuclear Physics Department of the University of Cambridge has discovered the heaviest element yet known to science. The new element, Governmentium (Gv), has one neutron, 25 assistant neutrons, 88 deputy neutrons, and 198 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312.

These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since Governmentium has no electrons, it is inert; however, it can be detected, because it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A tiny amount of Governmentium can cause a reaction that would normally take less than a second, to take from 4 days to 4 years to complete.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of 2 - 6 years. It does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, Governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each re-organization will cause more morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron promotion leads some scientists to believe that Governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a critical concentration.

This hypothetical quantity is referred to as critical morass.

When catalyzed with money, Governmentium becomes Administratium, an element that absorbs just as much energy as Governmentium since it has half as many peons but twice as many morons."

LANGUAGE "OH BOO"

2010-03-02T09:00:00.002-06:00

Pop has had multitudes of Hispanics and South Americans working with him for quite a few years.

He had a new Hispanic on the job one day and spent ALL DAY trying to find the right words to communicate with him - we call it "Spanglish" as do most other people. After about ten hours of THAT, he asks?

¿We're done por el día, do you want to regresar a casa? (We're done for the day, do you want to go home?)

His new employee answers in perfect Arkansese:

"Yeah, I reckon I'll just go to the house."

...oh boo...

"OH BOO" MOMENT 092908

2010-02-24T00:01:00.000-06:00

Here awhile back...

For well over a year I'd been trying to get nancpop to either lay me off or fire me. I finally got a little more than angry last night and stated emphatically, "I REALLY HATE THAT JOB - LET ME GO OR ELSE!"

This morning (092808) I received this from him in my email:

Good morning Honey,

I have to let you go.Your position in the company has been dissolved.
Have a great day !!!!!!!!!

Love Ya
POP

...oh boo...

YAY!

BROCCOLI "OH BOO"

2010-02-19T11:30:00.001-06:00

Ever since nancson was small he's hated broccoli - the ONLY way he'd eat it was if I put on a pot of homemade cheesy/broccoli soup AND made homemade croutons to drown out the taste.

I got a text from him on 02/16/10:

"Today I braved up and ate some broccoli."

My reply: "Hope it doesn't kill you..."

Him: "It didn't"

Me: "Oh good, because that would mean someone hijacked your phone while you were lying on the floor having the dying broccoli quivers!"

...oh boo...

LOLA BUNNY "OH BOO"

2010-02-16T10:44:00.002-06:00

Lola, a Dutch rabbit breed, has been nesting lately - rearranging her surroundings, fluffing her bedding up, looking at the cats kind of funny...

A friend of our son's was over this weekend and has some larger breed bucks who need a girlfriend - I asked him to ask his mother if Lola was too small for any of them. She said it would be fine to breed her with their smallest buck.

Nancson and friend took Lola yesterday to be bred.

When Nancson returned home last night, I asked, "Soooooooooo, did Lola and the buck...you know...get together yet?"

His reply, "Mom, we put her in the cage with him and they bred like rabbits - anything else you need to know?"

...oh boo...

She'll be returning home Wednesday with a funny-bunny look on her face!

EYE DOCTOR "OH BOO"

2010-02-09T00:00:00.000-06:00

I've recently been having some extremely discouraging vision problems. Started between Christmas and the new year. It began with pressure behind my eyes and later with blurred vision and ultimately what appeared to be lightening bolts flashing at the left side of my left eye.

Needless to say it put the scare in me. I'd rather lose my sense of smell, sense of hearing or sense of touch than my sense of sight - being an avid reader, losing my sight is a fate worse than death.

Pop took the day off to take me to an emergency appointment at the ophthalmologist - they took me right in and turned me every which way but loose as all the symptoms I was having pointed to a detached retina which would have required immediate surgery. YIKES!

Zgirl went with us and after about an hour's worth of excruciatingly irritating tests, the tech left the room and I called zgirl and pop into the room to keep me company.

They had to inspect the room with all the drawers and cabinet labels when zgirl came to one that stated "Foreign Body Removal Tool" and looked at pop and asked, "What's this one for?"

Pop's response, "That's to take all the illegal aliens out of your mother's eye."

...oh boo...

No, I do not have a detached retina but do have a small hemorrhage which could lead to one so will be having many follow-up appointments to keep a close watch on my vision. The doctor said my brain would block out many of the symptoms - like this big, freakin' grey blob that keeps getting in the way - NO! Swatting at it openly does no good...

...oh boo...

MISSISSIPPI "OH BOO"

2010-02-01T00:01:00.001-06:00

You may think this is a post about Mississippi - BUT IT'S NOT!

It's about Mz. Lola - we used to call her "Mississippi". She passed away this past July, but her spirit is still with us and she's been on my mind lately. We didn't always see eye to eye on many things (hardly ANY) but we loved her and her family just the same and had many great meals and holidays together.

This was the first in quite a few years our mountain family wasn't together for Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, and it was then I realized it was transition time.

Their family is what she liked to call, "LARGE AND IN CHARGE!" - yes, the three of them each weighed either close to or well over 300# apiece - that's a half-ton to you city folks. She used to tell me that I looked "poor" and when I questioned her about that, she said, "You know - too skinny!"

Mississippi is an entirely different country if you've never been there...

One Fourth of July, we had a big shindig/barbecue/potluck and theirs and a few other families came - They kept laughing and saying something at the table while nudging each other out of their way which I couldn't make out and finally had to ask them what was so funny - sure they were making fun of my food!

These larger-than-life people were saying, "There goes the buffet!" each time someone approached the food table - when I questioned them further they said that when their family would go to a chinese buffet, if a large person would come in, they'd look at one another and in unison say, "There goes the buffet." As in the other overweight people were going to take all the good stuff!

...oh boo...

O.T. "OH BOO"

2010-01-28T08:28:00.003-06:00

This is one of those posts where I hate to venture for the mere fact I like to keep this light and airy - and then thought to myself - what is more light and airy than gays in the military?

Many have heard me say that if not for a gay cousin of mine (quite a bit older) taking me and my siblings under his wing, we would not have had such a great childhood - he bought us a Honda 50 to tear it up in a field across the street from our house; he took us to Disneyland, the San Diego Zoo, Sea World, the movies and was a joy to be around.

He was at our house regularly when he was stationed nearby - sharing meals and was like a big old brother. I love him. Back in the day the word "gay" had not been stolen by homosexuals and a rainbow was something only seen after a rain so we referred to him as "different". "Homo" was something only said in jest and never to a person who was "different"!

This whole business of offending gays in the military is, as my dear departed grandmother would call, "A CROCK OF HOOEY!" I agree - gays SHOULD be in the military - gays SHOULD have their own BRANCH of the military - gays SHOULD be sent in first to survey the situation (because who would give more detail to a situation?) - gays SHOULD have more rights in military combat because WHAT group of people have fought more for the rights to just be normal?

I do, however, draw the line at how this morning on Fox News, Adam Smith(D), Washington, describes HOW they are doing in the military - at least until they have their own branch of the military, "...fabulously..."

...oh boo...

Fabulously would be how I would describe how the draperies hang, or how someone like Halle Berry fits a gown, or a feeling after that first kiss...

Talk about Full Monty dialectics!

Is it my imagination or are the progressives trying to sissify our military? No offense to macho gays...

Crossposted here.

SHAMPOO & A SET "OH BOO"

2010-01-23T10:00:00.001-06:00

here awhile back...

Pop had to go have a knee injury checked at the urgent care that all the guys in the company use - needless to say, it is run by ALL women - they loved him! They loved him so much, they'd call him when he was home to visit with ME to tell me how much they loved him...

They were due to have their grand opening within the second month of operation and were having open houses and raffles and drawings. Pop got in on that!

Then, he proceeded to forget about it after he didn't need to go back for any check ups. One day he got a call from their office to tell him that he'd won one of the drawings and he could come and collect.When he arrived, they snickered a little as they handed him his envelope with his prize in it.

What do you suppose it was?

A FREE SHAMPOO, CONDITIONING AND SET!

...oh boo...

Um, pop's totally bald...

BLACKBERRY4 "OH BOO"

2010-01-15T00:01:00.000-06:00

Okay, so I AM a techtard.

I went to take a photo with my BB and stuck the little round circle from the photo on the right up to my eye and said to zgirl - "I CAN'T SEE A THING WITH THIS!"

Zgirl, "Turn it around, mama..."

...oh boo...

01/09/10 "OH BOO"

2010-01-11T12:00:00.000-06:00

Zgirl went to the championship homeschool basketball games this afternoon.

We watched "Full Metal Jacket"...just because I'd never seen it before...oh boo...

Built a big salad, steamed some broccoli and made some scalloped potatoes to go with what pop had on the 'cue.

It's served up and nancson asks, "Oh, what's this - gamish corn hens?"

...oh boo...

After supper, pop, in all seriousness says, "I think I'm getting a feeling down here in my...(points to his throat)...philosophical tubes."

...oh boo...

NORM CROSBY - WHERE ARE YOU?!?

Malapropisms Galore!

NANCPOP DAD "OH BOO"

2010-01-06T10:00:00.001-06:00

Pop and I were reminiscing here awhile back about special people in our lives and he recalled one of his friends growing up, a young black fellow (Richard) who had a stutter.

He, pop and pop's dad would always go fishing together throughout his high school years and after that lost touch for awhile.

One day many years later, Richard stopped by the ranch to catch up on old times and go fishing. Pop was so glad to see him and apparently so was pop's pop - he got all excited, grabbed him to shake his hand or hug him and said, "Richard, I haven't seen you in a 'coon's age!"

...oh boo...

Then followed it up with this, "No offense."

...oh boo...

My poor mother-in-law...

BLACKBERRY3 "OH BOO"

2009-12-31T00:01:00.000-06:00

We were at the cabin for Thanksgiving and one day pop decided he was going trout fishing on the world famous "White River" before the children and our company returned.

I kept myself busy getting ready to house an extra five people and decided to watch his and my own favorite movie ever made, Paint Your Wagon.

After an hour or so I called him to see if he was having any luck and tell him I was watching the movie. Nope, no bites whatsoever and the water was up and as clear as could be.

One of our favorite parts in the movie came on so I decided to text him:

"Mooney, there's a woman in the saloon with a baby pressed against her breast."

His response:

"HA! I love that part!"

My next text:

"lt ain't every day that we got a woman in Atwell's - pressing her breast with her baby."

His response:

"That's FUNNY!"

My next text:

"there's a woman in Atwell's pressing her breast to the saloon."

No response...

So I text him this one last time:

"There's a breast in Atwell's pressing a woman against her."

A couple of minutes pass and his response comes back:

"HAG"

Okay, so I'm thinking, "Is he calling me a hag? or Elizabeth who is the woman in the saloon pressing her breast against it?"

...oh boo...

He gets home a few hours later, two trout heavier and I ask him why he responded back with a "HAG"?

He looked at me like I had sprouted angel wings and stated, "I sent you back a message that said HA!"

...oh boo...

So now I need BETTER glasses!

HAPPY ANNIVERSARY, POP!

OH-OH-OH

2009-12-23T11:40:00.004-06:00

BLESSINGS AND PEACE BE THE RULE OF THE DAY - EVERY DAY!

JOYEUX NOEL!

Isaiah 9:6 - For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given: and the government shall be upon his shoulder: and his name shall be called Wonderful, Counsellor, The mighty God, The everlasting Father, The Prince of Peace.

Amen

LETTERS TO SANTA "OH BOO"

2009-12-21T15:03:00.002-06:00

We get a big kick out of "Letters to Santa" every year - and this year is no exception. Here are a few, written by area first graders, we were reading and having a good laugh over this weekend:

Dear Santa:

You are a dear Santa. I
said, "Mom, here is a dear
Santa." Would you bring me
a video game?

Love, XXXXX

This little guy is an Eddie Haskell in the making - "Nice dress Mrs. Cleaver."

Dear Santa:

You say hoohoo. I say
hoohoo. Everbody say
hoohoo.

Love, XXXXXXX

I could get along with a person like this! ...ohboohoo...

Dear Santa:

How is miss clause? I
would like to have a game
and super hero cards. I'm
going to get a table and
poot cookies on it for you.

Love, XXXX

Mr. Obsessed with everything noisy and stinky said, "I pooted some Christmas cookies just this morning!"

Dear Santa,

I will leave cookies for
you. How are the raindeer
doing? I want a black
laptop compytr for Christmas.

Frum XXXXX

A new black compytr will certainly help him only if he understands the concept of "spellcheck". Yeah, yeah, yeah - I know, first grade - here in Arkansas he could be 10 or 11 years old however!

There were quite a few where the children asked only for special favor in the case of sick loved ones and those made me cry a little - "oh boo moments" is not for tears of sadness and I ask that you just keep those wee ones in your prayers.

CHRISTMAS GOODIES "OH BOO"

2009-12-18T00:01:00.000-06:00

My husband's engineer's wife and I have been sending baked goodies, homemade candy, and home canned goods for the past couple of weeks to keep all the guys in the holiday spirit.

Today, she sent "date nut logs" and he gave pop one to bring home - one of pop's operators went to unwrap it and asked, "Mmmmm, what's this?" Pop replied, "It's a stool sample."

...oh boo...

Needless to say, he frantically re-wrapped it and set it back where he found it! Wonder what he's been telling them all the treats I've been sending are?!?

F.I.L. GOLF "OH BOO"

2009-12-13T20:45:00.001-06:00

I love my father in law - if you ever had the opportunity to be around him and me, you'd think I don't like him, but I really, really like him.

You see, he is SOOOOOOOOOOOO full of himself and I CANNOT stop myself from pointing it out to him at every turn - he'll be going on and on about some great thing he believes he's done and everyone will be hanging on his every word and suddenly he'll stop and look at me like, "Well, what do YOU think?"

I will generally say something like, "Oh, do go on - it IS all about you, dad." And, my mother in law will do that Betty Rubble giggle and look at me like, "NOBODY EVER talks to him like that - you go girl!"

Anyhoo, we got him to take up golf a number of years ago and at first he'd take only one driver and a ball to the course and just hit it all over the place and probably quit once he lost THE only ball. Mostly he just liked to see how far he could hit it and then just brag about it until the next farthest hit.

He recently got a little more serious and actually goes out now at pre-arranged tee times with other more serious golfers for actual rounds of golf.

A few weeks ago, a professional golfer came to the course and just wanted to get in a practice round and my f-i-l and his partner were the only team he could slide in on so they good-naturedly accepted them into their time slot.

Things were going quite well until f-i-l's rooster hormones kicked in and he actually started heckling every bad shot the pro made - his partner trying to shush him, but once he gets going it is nigh on impossible to get him back on track again.

The pro was becoming visibly upset at my f-i-l's lack of golf etiquette and as a result badly hooked one of his drives off into neverland - my f-i-l abruptly stated, "Maybe you ought to put some cowbells on your balls before the next drive!"

...oh boo...

CHRISTMAS STORY "OH BOO"

2009-12-08T22:00:00.002-06:00

Firefighters rescue boy whose tongue was stuck to a metal pole.

Strange, you say?:

When nte was approximately eight years old, it seemed she'd always be hollering for me when I went to the restroom or any other room for that matter. I recall asking on a number of occasions, perhaps even begging her to PUHLEEZE approach me and talk to me rather than call across a room or through walls because I WILL ignore you.

One day while showering I could hear her from two rooms away calling for me, garbled though it was and I shouted back, "I TOLD YOU TO PLEASE COME AND TALK DIRECTLY TO ME - DON'T HOLLER!" My shower resumed and she kept getting louder and I thought to myself, Sophia Loren, perhaps someone has broken in and they've accosted her and she needs me!

So as not to arouse suspicion of the intruder, I leave the shower running, step from the tub with my head all soapy, grab a towel and the toilet brush and edge my way out of the bathroom - through the bedroom I slinked along the wall, dripping wet with shampoo running into my eyes - around the corner into the front room - I edge up beside the refrigerator door where it is noticeable the door is OPEN and she is whimpering now - I step around the door fully prepared to use the toilet brush in whatever manner to bring great harm to the person hurting my baby!

There she is, standing there with her little hand stuck to the wall of the freezer and I'm like WTF? (In case y'all're wondering what the "F" is in my "WTF's" - it's FLUFF! Of course, back then it could have been any number of words...oh boo...) I adamantly ask, "WHAT are you doing with your hand stuck to the freezer (as I'm now naked with the toilet brush on the floor)? I hover over the sink trying to get a pan of hot water to get her hand unstuck while the shampoo by this time has removed the first membrane on my eyeballs - and she responds, "I wet my hand and stuck it to the freezer just to see what it would do."

...oh boo...

MJ "OH BOO"

2009-12-05T10:19:00.002-06:00

This was playing on the satellite holiday music station when pop came in yesterday. Never one to miss a beat, he stated, "He was alive when he sang this."

...oh boo...

BLACKBERRY2 "OH BOO"

2009-12-01T11:46:00.005-06:00

I set my BB to go off at a particular time at night and to go on at a particular time in the morning. The children ALWAYS send me a message stating, "MADE IT! ILU!" when they get to their destinations each weekday.

We were at the cabin for Thanksgiving and had company the weekend after - everyone was soundly asleep with the exception of two hunters off in the woods (bagged an eight-point buck I might add) when all of a sudden my phone came on, started plinging and vibrating all over by the side of the bed (built up on a wooden platform with storage beneath) - I was startled, sat bolt upright, grabbed the phone and there were two messages from nancson who was, BTW, sound asleep in the upstairs bedroom mere feet from me...

The two messages read, "Mom, could you please go out back and turn the light off in the bathhouse?"

...oh boo...

I'm not a very patient person lately - menopause and all - and have even asked God to please give me a mustache in place of the hotflashes, night sweats and moodiness. It would be the first time in the history of my family ANYBODY grew one...

...oh boo...

So I holler out, "Go out back and turn the light out YOURSELF!" Suddenly all seven people left in the cabin were awake...

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

2009-11-25T22:30:00.001-06:00

Photo courtesy lylefur.

I am reminded of the story a former co-worker told me of the first year she was to make Thanksgiving supper for her in-laws.

She did not want ANY help from another, so embarked on the journey alone - good thing for everyone else - no one to blame for what was to follow but herself.

As she was searching for turkey recipes, she came across the perfect recipe - cleaned the bird out, put the stuffing in - THEN, the directions stated, truss the turkey - no, she didn't go try to find a girdle for it!

It was early Thanksgiving morn and nothing was open so she could purchase "trussing" material and thought, "What the hey - I'll just take some straight, sewing-type pins and that ought to do the trick!" So, she did.

Everything was going good until she removed the lovely, golden brown and steaming turkey from the oven - drained the gravy drippings - went to remove the 30 or 40 straight pins from the bird and they were NOWHERE to be found! She, shaking like a dog pooping peach pits, glided through the entire meal sure someone was going to choke on one of the pins.

...oh boo...

No, she NEVER found them! HAPPY THANKSGIVING Y'ALL!

BLACKBERRY "OH BOO"

2009-11-20T00:01:00.000-06:00

Contrary to what we've all heard about this marvelous piece of technology - NO, it will NOT change the channels on your television from the dining room or from any other room for that matter...

...oh boo...

MAKES ME LOOK FAT "OH BOO"

2009-11-16T08:50:00.003-06:00

When the Badger was here last, I found myself actually coveting this Carhartt khaki shirt of his.

Sure, it's from the "big and tall" section of clothing - thing is, Badger is approximately 4'14" tall and about half again that round - not round in the "fat" sense - he's built like a mini-dozer or a tackle! BEEEEFY!

The entire week he was here, I whined about how much I admired that party cooler shirt - finally, the last evening he probably had enough and said, "Here, you may as well have it - Mrs. Badger says it makes me look FAT!"

...oh boo...

The shirt in question has been one of my favorites since and fits me like a small tent - and then one day nancpop left one of his black, refillable-type, fine point, felt tip pens in a pocket and it broke open in the laundry - MY SHIRT now looks like a black and green variegated camouflage TENT SHIRT!

...oh boo...

At least I won't be recognizable while running through the woods from the bear that's been hanging about the cabin!

HAUTE CUISINE "OH BOO"

2009-11-12T08:59:00.002-06:00

Our son LOVVVVVVVVVVVVES to cook and is always preparing some delightful treat from other countries - mostly France. He's always experimenting with something new and we reap the benefits.

He decide a couple of weeks ago that he wanted to try his hand at "Creme Brulee" so purchased all the necessary equipment - we get a kick out of a friend of ours who wants to name their first child "Ramekin"!

The first time out on the brulee we were quite surprised at how it turned out, so he kept making it night after night - adding this and that - chocolate - nutmeg, etc.

Last night he was telling pop, "I call the chocolate brulee "Creme Brulee du Chocolat"!" (He is an International Business major with a minor in language in college and converses easily in a couple of languages.)

Pop replied, "I call it chocolate puddin'!"

...oh boo...

FT. HOOD "OH BOO"

2009-11-10T18:41:00.003-06:00

The nancster likes to give credit where credit is due and today when I was originally intending to make this post, our dsl went out and I thought to myself, "You gorgeous hunk of woman, you..." Wait, that was earlier in the day.

Later, when the dsl went out, I had occasion to listen to potussa's speech at Ft. Hood Memorial and thought he would somehow make it all about him. I have to apologize - his handlers wrote a very thoughtful and nice speech for him to orate.

...oh boo...

Hopefully, no one will read this post before the next moment. No, I am not softening towards potussa.

God be with the families of those whose lives were cut short by this madman - may he get exactly what's coming to him. Not my will, but the Will of God be done.

CANDY POOP? "OH BOO"

2009-11-02T08:32:00.005-06:00

First of all, everyone who knows nancpop knows he is an expert in all issues concerning wildlife and bellybutton lint.

Since zgirl was a teeny-tiny, he'd hold his closed hand out to her and she'd put her palm out flat and he'd drop a Tootsie Roll Pop, money, a piece of gum, a lizard, a frog, or a small snake and yes, even bellybutton lint - it's a father and daughter thing - trust beyond measure.

This weekend at the cabin, zgirl was just sitting there unsuspectingly playing on her new Blackberry and nancpop came in from outside where he was, btw, smoking the limit of trout he and she caught the day before, when he held out his closed fist to her and she (like she's been doing for at least 16 years) held out her flat hand and he dropped what looked like a miniature tootsie roll into it.

She IMMEDIATELY went to place it to her nose to smell it first and THEN opened her mouth to make a deposit when pop said, "NO, IT'S A DEER TURD!"

...oh boo...

Needless to say, he went on to give us all the details on the deer turd.

...oh boo...

"YES! It is fresh - you see it's barely set on the outside yet warm on the inside if you pinch it. That means they were RIGHT THERE by the bathhouse moments beforehand!" He expounded further but we were so taken aback and hollering at him we couldn't possibly have heard ALL we needed to know about a simple deer turd.

...oh boo...

"PAPA! WHY DO YOU DO THIS TO ME?!? MAMA - POP'S GROSS!"

I had no idea of ALL the virtues of nancpop when I said, "I do."

...oh boo...

SAVING TIME "OH BOO"

2009-10-26T09:24:00.001-05:00

What mother doesn't have an issue with her children being able to fill a dishwasher in a half day because they just don't care about the time and money involved? What do the following have in common?:

If you said absolutely nothing, you'd be closer to the truth than not.

...oh boo...

The children are pretty sure that rather than put the brownie on a napkin and eat it, putting it into a stoneware bowl while using a plastic throw-away spoon is surely saving time and money.

...oh boo...

I'm breaking them, however...yeah, while they're at school I'm putting clean dishes into the dishwasher so they can unload it after school!

SAD BUT SOMEWHAT TRUE "OH BOO"

2009-10-21T07:56:00.001-05:00

Jay Leno: "President Obama today agreed to commit an additional 40,000 troops to help fight Fox News."

FINALLY! he's found a war worth fighting!

...oh boo...

LITTLE BLACK SHOES "OH BOO"

2009-10-14T00:00:00.000-05:00

Note from zgirl this morning:

"I borrowed your little black shoes (it's black day)" - LOVE Zgirl (with heart and smiley face)

My response:

OMG! WHICH PAIR?!?

...oh boo...

She could have worn them all day, come home, replaced them into the black shoe closet with the other 39 or so pair and I'd be none the wiser.

...oh boo...

I have a feeling it's the Gucci knock-offs.

...oh freakin' boo!...

Anybody else have more than forty pair of black shoes?

...sigh...

"OH BOO" MOMENT 101208

2009-10-12T00:01:00.000-05:00

It was a dark and stormy night...

NO - wait a minute - it was a beautiful and sunny day.

We arose somewhat late as there was a huge band competition we were in charge of the day before as that day began at 0630 hours and ended at 2100 hours. Needless to say, we were dog tired which brings me to the near-crux of the story.

One of our neighbors was away for the weekend so pop took it upon himself to go get into his garage to use his air compressor to air up the tire on the neighbor's truck we borrowed from him in his absence without his permission...Okay - so THAT'S not entirely true - the neighbor is one of pop's "underlings" (for lack of a better word) at work - he also happens to be the son-in-law of the owner of the company pop has worked for for the past nearly seven years and as it is with good neighbors - what's theirs is ours and vise versa.

FLASH FORWARD!

Nobody has seen Sampson (Smoshmon to me) all day - for those of you who do not know the Smoshmon - he's the big dog about the hill - all ten or seven pounds of him - we saved him from his owners when we moved into this house - he was SUPPOSED to be a pug/pom mix, but he looks more like a bigheaded chihuahua - mostly because pop ran over his hind end with the suburban when he was but a few months old - the front of him kept growing while the rear was stifled...first "oh boo"...

our other dog - Fred (Ferdie to me) - whose HEAD, btw, was run over by pop when he was about the same age...second "oh boo"...kept barking ALL DAY LONG today - pop told me earlier in the day that the last time he'd seen Smoshie was when he was taking the industrial sized bbq to the carwash to give it a thorough cleaning. I'm now sure that Ferdie is worried about his sidekick, Smoshie.

It was a sure thing - Smoshmon had probably followed them all the way out to the highway and the rest of him had been run over in an attempt to catch his mind end up with his rear end. Yup, he'd finally kissed his own arse goodbye - in my mind i thought, "is that what he gets for chasing anything with four big wheels?"

I called him when i was in the garden, when I was burning brush, when I had a snack (which we spell out - S-N-A-C-K) because he knows what a "snack" is but if we spell it out it perplexes him. No Smoshie in sight...heavy sigh...

So now the entawr family is pretty sure we're never going to see the little guy with the big 'tude again. I'm moping around outside and keep hearing this tiny howling sound for a couple of hours and think there's a poor little dog in trouble somewhere - my brain is telling me that I'm just mourning for the Smoshmon and hearing things.

Awhile later it becomes more than just a hallucination and I begin following the sound, up the hill I meander - getting closer to the sound, thinking, "WHAT IF pop shut the neighbor's garage door when he BORROWED the air compressor and the Smoshmon has been inside the garage for the past TWELVE HOURS?!?"

I open the garage door in question and THE SMOSHMON comes flying out like a bullet, running, jumping, and whimpering - pretty sure since I'm the first one he sees that I MUST be the one who shut the door on him in the first place - HE WON'T COME NEAR ME!

...oh boo...

POP IS STILL HIS FAVORITE PERSON!

...oh boo...

See if i EVER let him out of the neighbor's garage again...oh boo...

ENGARDE "OH BOO"

2009-10-02T10:11:00.001-05:00

...oh boo...

MT. UPDATE "OH BOO"

2009-09-27T21:12:00.003-05:00

We haven't been able to go to the cabin much in the past month as i was ailing with some sort of flu and then a whopping case of something akin to e.coli - we've been missing it dearly and are now neck deep involved with the band - competition coming up and neither of ours are in the band right now!

Bandos have always been a part of my adult life - all three play a variety of instruments and one in party cooler is a professional Christian contemporary worship singer (yeah, n.t.e.).

The other night it was "girl's night out" with four of us attending a concert with "Rush of Fools" at JBU in Siloam Springs - THEY ROCKED THE CATHEDRAL! Then, just last night nancpop and i were treated to a benefit gospel at our local H.S. auditorium and one of the groups were "The Calvarymen" - TALK ABOUT A TREAT!

I was busy getting caught up on the news of my friends and family after our p.c. being down since 091109 and catching as catch can on the other laptops in the house and decided to get a new one - THIS ONE.

Anyhoo, got a note from Ma and was worried about their leaking roof and our not being able to help them out until a week or two from now - received a note back with loads of info, but this one really caught my eye and had me in stitches:

"My endoscopy was fine. All they found there was a hiatal hernia, nothing to worry about there. He said I need to keep taking my nexium, and watch what I eat.....So, I watch every thing I eat. I look at it real good, then I eat it...lol"

...oh boo...

I know what you mean, ma...

LUNCHBOX "OH BOO"

2009-09-19T14:21:00.002-05:00

A couple of weeks ago, while zgirl and her best friend were headed to lunch - they noticed a couple of freshman girls skipping down the hall, hand-in-hand, and acting goofily giddy - zgirl looked at her friend and said, "THAT is SOOOOOOOOOO immature!" while carrying her new lunchbox:

...oh boo...

TRIVIAL PURSUIT "OH BOO"

2009-09-15T16:47:00.003-05:00

here a while back...12/31/07 to be exact...

nancpop and nancson were having a rousing game of "TRIVIAL PURSUIT" - they use me to answer the questions when they don't know the answers as i'm a trivia buff - one who knows a little about many things and more often than not, one who doesn't know EVERYTHING about ANY ONE THING!

son to pop, "what are the names of the tubes that connect the ovaries to the uterus?"

after a moment or so of thought, pop assuredly replies, "THOSE, son, would be the FILIPINO tubes!"

...oh boo...

HAIRDOO "OH BOO"

2009-09-07T21:24:00.002-05:00

nancpop-n-zgirl-n-i went to the cabin for Labor Day Weekend - mostly to get much needed chores done - the area is still reeling from the ice storm at the end of this past winter - limbs broken and trees down everywhere...and we do not need them close to the old homestead.

all is going well until something hits me saturday night and knocks me down - ears - eyes - head - nose - fever - extreme fatty-gew - you name it - surely i'm going to die in about four more days of this!

...oh boo...

sunday night as i'm getting ready to go take a long, hot bath, zgirl challenges pop to a game of YAHTZEE and then i hear her ask him if he'll brush her hair - his dull response, "it's what i live for."

...oh boo...

she then asks him if he'll french braid her hair - he replies, "don't know how." her, "oh sure you do." he sternly answers, "AHA! i'll bet 'too slim and tails draggin'' (his term of endearment for her friend who's a boy) CAN'T braid either!" in my mind i hear him saying something like the farmer would say, "nanny-nanny, noo-noo!"

zgirl responds, "when we get home i'll find out and if he doesn't know how, then he soon will!"

...oh boo...

SCHOLARSHIP "OH BOO"

2009-09-03T09:16:00.003-05:00

WHAT does a full ride, four-year scholarship to MIT look like?

from what i understand, the student expense budget was around $50,000 per year in 2008/09.

it seems an acquaintance of one of our children got "girl fever" this summer, gave UP his full ride scholarship, took his measly student loans and followed her to the college she is attending.

...oh boo...

HEY! at least HE got "girl fever"!

...oh yay...

"OH BOO" LAWNMOWER BRAKES!

2009-08-30T17:39:00.002-05:00

i've noticed lately when mowing the lawn, the brakes haven't been working very well - which poses a problem as our yard (3+ acres) slopes at a 30 degree angle in some spots. sometimes when TRYING to stop, i'll whip the lawnmower steering wheel to the left or right so i'm going BACK up the hill just to keep from dropping off into no nanc land at the bottom!

today, pop asked me to come out and step on the brakes as he was checking them, so i do and i say, "the brakes aren't working very well lately."

pop says, "the brakes aren't working at all - now's no time to start being polite!"

...oh boo...

PRIZEWINNING SQUASH "OH BOO"

2009-08-27T12:00:00.000-05:00

pop, "um, son? would you mind picking the garden for me today and concentrate on the green beans and whatever else you see that is ready?"

"sure pop!"

although this is but some of the bounty from our garden, it's not exactly what nancson picked THAT day...

i was up on the patio when i looked down and saw nancson holding the following squash in his hands - i said, "HEY! THAT'S POP'S PRIZEWINNING SQUASH HE WANTS TO ENTER IN THE FAIR IN AUGUST!"

...first oh boo...

nancson got a look on his face like he was about to become supper, turned around, bent over and went to RE-place THE PRIZEWINNING SQUASH back where he'd plucked it from the vine and said, "pop'll never notice!"

...second oh boo...

"son - how much more do you think it will grow if you just set it back down in the vine?"

...standing ovation oh boo...

PINK RIBBON "OH BOO"

2009-08-22T12:56:00.000-05:00

today, while checking out at the grocery store - i noticed the above alternative to the plastic bags and told the checker that i would have two - one is black, the other a dark pink. quite sturdy i might add.

when i returned home, nancpop and nancson unloaded the car and when nancson noticed the new grocery bags, he somberly stated, "oh, i see it's breast awareness month again."

...oh boo...

IT'S OUT IN THE OPEN "OH BOO"

2009-08-20T08:07:00.003-05:00

i like to keep this blog OFF politics as much as possible, but i could NOT resist posting this one:

found it at van helsing's. now, the funniest part isn't the video - check out this comment:

"This is insanity! If any of this is true, he can't be trusted on health care or any other reforms! Isn't there a clause for mentally unfit presidents? If this is actually his writings, it shows he has NO idea how anything works and his whole campaign is based on desillusionnal ideas! I see the funny comments here but am I wrong to be really scared here? Wasn't Hitler mentally unfit and prone to outbursts and depression too?"

Posted by: Jay B at August 20, 2009 5:36 AM

...oh boo...

"OH BOO" BURR

2009-08-12T12:00:00.000-05:00

here awhile back...

i hot glued one of these small burrs to a love note to nancson, "son, i promise i won't blow one of these into your ear while you're sound asleep. love you, mama"

when he awakened, he brought the note to me and said, "thank you, mama - i ALWAYS tell all my friends what a good mom you are."

...oh boo...

SUPER GLUE "OH BOO"

2009-08-05T08:47:00.003-05:00

cheating husband gets his glue...er...due?

he deserved it and more - they should have super glued his eyes shut and his lips closed! of course i have no words to describe what the women deserved...

now for my true super glue incident with my own sweet husband:

it was summer, hot as hell and the ticks were out thick. we were helping a friend build his log cabin for the summer and camping on his creek while doing so.

as was common, in the evenings after baths everyone would check everyone for ticks and my husband said, "i have one in a spot no one else needs to see." so i checked and sho'nuff there was one buried right in that virgin skin where the thigh meets the goods.

i ran for the super glue as it's the best assurance you get the entire tick - they back out and freeze up in the glue - you peel it off - no problem...well except if you drop the goods onto the area where the super glue HASN'T dried!

...oh boo...

SCHNAPPS "OH BOO"

2009-07-30T08:00:00.001-05:00

here awhile back...

when pop was working out of state, i was clearing some land on the mountain and hired three or four young men to help me a couple of days a week. they were all between the ages of 13-17, but they could barely keep up with me!

we were cutting brush, pulling stumps, moving boulders and large rocks, burning brush, mowing and weedeating.

i kept plenty of sodas, water and tea on hand for break times and expected them to take regular breaks of about five or ten minutes EVERY hour - the arkansas heat isn't what gets you - it's the humidity. if it's 85 degrees and 70 percent humidity, you can lose much needed waterweight and develop heat stroke in a hurry.

after a couple of weeks of this, when i'd ask the boys what they wanted to drink, all but one stated what they wanted and i asked the one who didn't, "what do you want to drink, nutcase (not his real name)?" he said, "i'll have what you're having!" "okay, unsweet tea it is." he responded, "no, i want some of that SCHNAPPS i smell on your breath all day!" "WTF ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?!?" "you can't fool me, mzz nanc - you're drinking peppermint schnapps and that's what i'll have too." "listen you little turd, i'm NOT drinking schnapps, i NEVER drink schnapps and i NEVER drink alcohol before six or seven in the evening and i certainly would NEVER drink it with a 17 year old - NOW GET BACK TO WORK!"

he was a persistent little devil - even wanting to smell my breath so i got all myself in his face to where i could see my reflection in his bulging eyes and gave him a breath he'll never forget - he responds, "see, i told you you're drinking schnapps." okay, at this point i'm pretty sure i can take him...and then i remember i had put two of these into my mouth at the beginning of the job.

...oh boo...

everest WAS my favorite chewing gum before altoids, but if you put two in your mouth it would literally knock the wind out of a sissy, so i said, "IT'S NOT SCHNAPPS! it's these, here have TWO."

...oh boo...

that'll teach'im!

GOLF ETIQUETTE "OH BOO"

2009-07-22T10:14:00.002-05:00

y'all know how much our entire family loves golf:

there are SOME things one should never discuss on the course.

...oh boo...

PONDERING "OH BOO"

2009-07-16T07:02:00.001-05:00

i was thinking just the other day...

...oh boo...

MUST HAVE PROVISIONS "OH BOO"

2009-07-13T09:36:00.002-05:00

i haven't carried a purse for over eighteen years. hate them. i noticed the larger the purses, the more junk would find its way into them.

when we had toddlers in the house and out and about i found it much easier to have a fanny pack to carry the minimal necessities: my smokes, a lighter, identification, bank card, fishing license, lip therapy (avon - the best!), a notepad, fine point pen (pilot - the best!) AND THE MOST IMPORTANT ITEM, ALTOIDS PEPPERMINT CHEWING GUM! (THE best!)

i've since narrowed down what i carry and no longer use a fanny pack, but NEVER leave the house without id, phone, my jumbo mug of iced tea and MY ALTOIDS CHEWING GUM.

here awhile back they stopped carrying my gum of choice and after searching high and low, i FINALLY found another place to purchase it for the past three years. i was getting low a couple of months ago and upon going to get some more, the store told me they were not carrying it anymore - i asked perplexedly, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT CARRYING IT ANYMORE?!?" my favorite clerk replied, "supposedly altoids is not making the gum anymore." me, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOT MAKING IT ANYMORE?!?" her, "nope, not making it anymore."

...oh boo...

this devastating piece of news caught me off guard - so much so that i came home and went through every vehicle, every nook and crannie, every travel bag, coat and shirt pockets, candy dish, cannister, etc., until i finally found approximately three and a half tins with the beloved gum in them. when the family asks, "do you have some gum, mom?" i say, "well, i don't have enough for everyone - we'll stop up here and get you some." i've been rationing this gum like gasoline in the forties.

...oh boo...

now you may think this a little off plumb, but i also found a tin which had opened and several of the contents spilled on the floorboard, under the seat of one of the vehicles...oh sure they were a little scuffed, but i wiped them off and put one of them directly into my mouth...it was probably sixteen or eleven months old...and quite crunchy...

...oh boo...

VERBOSITY "OH BOO"

2009-07-06T11:24:00.003-05:00

when nancson began making sentences around a year old, there was no stopping him to this day. when he would be sleeping you could actually go into his room and carry on a conversation with him until he awakened and get mad at YOU for talking to him while he'd be sleeping. we stopped doing THAT quite awhile ago.

on long trips, this affliction nancson has - his incessant chattering would make us want to pull over to a rest stop and offer him up to the first deaf family we could find...j/k...

when he and zgirl got old enough to know what money was we decided to give a dollar or so to whichever could stay quiet the longest on some of our longer trips - zgirl would make the zippenzeelippenzee motion across her mouth, sit back in her carseat and be quiet for nine or ten hours.

all the while, nancson would be going on, "i'm going to get that dollar - i'm going to be so quiet you won't hear even a peep out of me - and i'll win that dollar because i'm not going to say a word - nosiree - not one word - why you'll be so surprised at just how quiet i can be, mama - you just watch - see me being quiet? yep - i'm much more quiet than zgirl - just listen to me NOT saying a word!" and, so it would go for two or three hundred miles...

...oh boo...

graphic courtesy rlvdotzcachedotcom.

CUSSING "OH BOO"

2009-07-01T08:16:00.002-05:00

i have to admit, nancpop USED to have a pretty foul mouth - he just wasn't aware of it until one day quite a few years ago, zgirl, in her tiny voice said, "papa, please stop cussing." it was at the supper table and he must have been instantly convicted.

the following sunday on our way to church, he dropped something between the seat and console while driving and as he's driving and trying to find the object, you could see the tension mounting - the rest of us were being quiet and awaiting the "eff" or "sob" words to come flying out of his mouth. waiting for what seemed a day or two, but in reality only long enough to travel about a mile and a half on a country road, when all of a sudden, he blurts out, "FIDDLESTICKS!!!"

we all gave each other the dumb dog looks and shrugged our shoulders - pop looks around at all of us and asks, "did i really just say "fiddlesticks"?"

...oh boo...

REARVIEW MIRROR "OH BOO"

2009-06-26T09:30:00.000-05:00

here awhile back...

"this guy" up on the mountain was somewhat dating this local girl and to say she was dumber than a box of rocks would be insulting to rocks everywhere.

we were sharing backhoe rent with this guy and roofing the cabin and they came over to see how we were coming along. another friend who i'll call "lampie" (because that was a portion of his last name) was staying with us and helping for room and board.

lampie and nancpop were up on the roof so "this guy" decided to join them to check the progress. i was stuck on the deck with the local girl trying to dumb myself down enough to make some sense to her in conversating. yeah, i know that's not a word.

we got on the subject of birthdays and the children and i were telling her our birthdates, when she soberly said, "mah birthday's USUALLY on julah FIRST."

...oh boo...

next i hear the guys coming down the ladder and trampling around out back so i chokingly tell local girl, "i'll be right back - visit with the children." well, i'm arseholes and elbows trying to get out back to find out if the guys heard her tell us what i thought she said - sure enough, they're out there holding their guts, turning all shades of red and laughing their tail ends off over the comment. meanwhile i'm begging them to, "PUHLEEZE RESCUE ME!" they could contain themselves long enough to tell me, "you're on your own." which is proof that what goes around comes around.

when i maintained i returned to the deck to visit the best i could - the children were ever so thankful and politely disappeared and it may have been several days before i saw them again.

as fate would have it, she also attended the same church the children went to and although they'd warned me about this woman - i was sure they were exaggerating and was about to be proven wrong.

we chatted about nothing and i asked her why she rode the church bus - she responded that she was unable to get a license for health reasons. then she started telling me about a few nights before when all the children on the bus were getting out of control. i asked what the driver did in those instances - she seriously responded, "he JERKED that bus to a stop - looked in his REVENOOOOOOER mirror - and told'em'all to QUIETTEN down!"

...oh boo...

needless to say, the guys all heard it too - another trip to the back yard where we ALL were quietly trying to have a good laugh!

TREE RAT "OH BOO"

2009-06-23T16:40:00.000-05:00

oh sure, pop and i will have words once in awhile. like when he says, "you WOULD eat a squirrel if times were tough enough." me, "i'm NOT that kind of indian. i will opt out for tree bark, thank you."

in great britain, however:

THREE BUCKS APIECE?

...oh boo...

and to think we spend at least that much a week feeding the little critters!

...oh boo...

cajun squirrel chips, anyone?

funny photos of squirrels.

010709

HAPPY FATHER'S DAY!

2009-06-21T09:16:00.000-05:00

"It is a wise child that knows its own father, and an unusual one that unreservedly approves of him." - Mark Twain

i just know i'll find an "oh boo" moment in this day!

BAT MITZVAH "OH BOO"

2009-06-17T07:20:00.001-05:00

the conversation today (06/08/09) with the children lead to judaism.

nancson and i were discussing "bar mitzvah" and how men have bar mitzvah at the ages of 13 and then may do so again at the age of 80.

at the age of 12 a young girl will have her "bat mitzvah".

nancson, "so then when a woman turns 80 do they call it an "OLD" bat mitzvah?!?

...oh boo...

more on bar and bat mitzvah.

DVR "OH BOO"

2009-06-12T19:40:00.000-05:00

it was bound to happen.

didn't believe it would be me who would be responsible.

6/11/09

our dvr WAS clogged up with all sorts of useless programs the children had recorded. i thought i'd fix them and delete some of their stuff so i could add more hours to my 24 hours of "HEE HAW" recordings.

sooooooo, i go in and find a program that had about 20 half hour programs recorded and hit the "SELECT ALL" and then "DELETE".

no problem.

i went back to the recorded programming schedule and found it to be EMPTY! ALL MY HEE HAWS GONE!

...oh boo...

yes, i got THE look. i got THE look. and it wasn't the prince version...

4/20/09 "OH BOO"

2009-06-08T10:00:00.000-05:00

okay so it was "national pot smoking" day.

a little foreign exchange student friend of the kidz, who does not have a very good grasp of the english language came up to zgirl and asked, "you smoke pot today?" aghast, zgirl answers her, "NO! pot is bad, i don't smoke pot and neither should you!"

the exchange student's reply, "it okay, i no tell anybody."

...oh boo...

doesn't that false arelia look like the real thing?!?

BROKEN FLUTE "OH BOO"

2009-06-05T09:40:00.001-05:00

when we married, as a gift we received some champagne flutes and immediately put them into the back of the cupboard or would occasionally use them when having wine that didn't come in a box...hehehe...

a few years ago nancson wanted to start using them for his drinks - juice, tea, water, etc. so after short thought i relented and allowed him to use them - why should they go to waste?

one day he knocked one over on the counter and the bowl broke perfectly in two and the flute now looked more like a boiled egg cup. i called out, "what happened, son?!?" his reply, "don't be mad, mama, but i accidentally broke one of the champagne flutes and you're only going to be able to have a half of a half of a glass of wine in this one! okay?!?"

...oh boo...

...which would be the equivalent of a tablespoon...

A SURPRISE 4 U "OH BOO"

2009-06-01T08:42:00.007-05:00

here awhile back...

pop called me from the road and said, "have i ever got a surprise for you!" "please just tell me it's NOT "wandering jew"!" "oh, it's only about six sprigs."

in some places it needs to be mowed...

oh boo...

remind me to tell you about the time he thought he was bringing me a bouquet of goldenrod...

THREE AMIGOS "OH BOO"

2009-05-29T10:33:00.004-05:00

here awhile back...it was actually about seven years ago, give or take a few months, one of our buttercup hens put out four cornish roosters - strange but true.

these four grew and traveled together and were quite ornery - not like all our other chickens. they had no romance about them when wooing the hens - it was more a slam-bam, thank you ma'am and they were more apt to pull the neck feathers out of the females than the other roosters.

ALL the other roosters would do their rooster dance and it is really something to see how they "court" the hens.

the cornish roosters in question were unruly and one in particular would come into our breezeway and peck at a styrofoam cooler i'd take when i went to town to keep frozen goods in until i got home. wellllll, one day i just couldn't keep that rooster out of the breezeway - i'd open the door and hurl everything in sight at it and it would just return a few moments later and commence to pecking the cooler apart.

yeah, i know - i should have brought the cooler in and had moved it on a number of occasions trying to hide it from them - there was no room inside for one more thing! DAYAMIT~it's my cooler!

finally fed up, i grabbed one of the children's daisy one pump beebee guns and quietly opened the door and that rooster's tail was up in the air and i thought, "i'll just graze him in the tailfeathers to scare the bird crappe out of him and perhaps he'll give it up." as i squeezed the trigger, he hopped up out of the cooler and the beebee hit him in the neck!

he struggled out of the breezeway and as chickens go, when the rest of them (35-40) came over and ganged up on him as he was flopping about on the ground - i kept trying to shoo them away so i could finish him off, but alas it seems they did the job for me. the little guy lay there limp on the ground so i picked him up - no sign of life - shook him off, put him into a plastic grocery bag and into the freezer he went until nancpop would get home a couple of few hours later and he could prepare him for cooking.

nancpop arrived home two plus hours later and as i related the story to him, he went to the freezer to get the bird - as he approached me with the grocery bag that was rattling about like it had popping corn in it - he said, "COME HERE! i'm going to show you how to really kill a chicken~!"

me, "no thank you, i killed it the first time - it's your turn."

...oh boo...

as for the remaining "three amigos" - i'll save THAT story for another day.

CATZ "OH BOO"

2009-05-26T00:01:00.001-05:00

pop doesn't like cats...or so he says.

for some strange reason however, they're always flanking him when i go to bed and i have to kick them out of the bed to make room for myself and i notice he's always putting some sort of snacks into their dishes that they'd never think of eating so they will play with them until i find them all dried up behind or under a piece of furniture.

he was complaining on them the other day and i said, "if you'll notice we have NO mice since we got the cats!"

his response, "um, babe? we NEVER had mice BEFORE we got the cats."

...oh boo...

TOOLS "OH BOO"

2009-05-20T00:01:00.001-05:00

WOW, MOM!!!

for a very long time - perhaps 30 years or so, i've endeavored to keep my tools separate from my man's and tried just keeping my tools in a special drawer in the kitchen - hammer, assorted screwdrivers, wrenches, nail sets, drill bits, etc.

for a very long time they invariably go missing and i find them in pop's tools - all dirty and greasy with grass and leaves stuck to them - YUCK!

for a very long time i've taken to printing on them in a wide, black sharpie "MOM".

for a very long time i keep finding my tools marked "MOM" in his tool boxes, behind the seat of his truck, on the work bench, in his work jacket pockets, in buckets, cardboard boxes, shelves in the garage and the like.

for a very long time i held my breath, took my tools and put them where I could easily find them.

and then...i got angry and asked, "WHAT ARE MY TOOLS DOING INTERMINGLING WITH YOUR TOOLS?!?" him, "what do you mean?" "ohhh, don't be coy with me - they ALL have "MOM" written on them!" him, "oh. i thought that spelled "WOW"!"

...oh boo...

some people have asked over the years about why after i or someone else says "WOW" do i say, "that's "MOM" spelled upside down." or vice versa - now you know!

"OH BOO" FUNERAL FAN

2009-05-17T15:20:00.005-05:00

here awhile back...

at church one sunday i was hot-hot-hot! soooooo, i grabbed the "funeral fan" from in front of the hymnal and began vigorously waving it in front of my face to try and cool myself off - little did i know it was about ready to snap and so it did - the fan itself fell to the floor and i was left holding what looked like a large tongue depressor.

now i'm not one who goes to church for the frivolities and do always pay very close attention to the sermon as i want to be sure i'm not being fed a crock of "hooey" as my dear departed grandmother would say. i'm not one to "believe" what a person of the cloth says and do actually test their words as i admonish every single person looking for the proof of God do.

zgirl was sitting next to me doodling so i had to give her "the eye" - the one that says "GIVE ME THAT PENCIL!"...and she did...so i began looking at pop thinking to myself that he looked an awful lot like the funeral fan handle and i began doodling on it and then zgirl wanted to give it a try and then nancson - of course, pop was getting a little miffed with his unruly family...until we presented him with the masterpiece:

...oh boo...

you can find me over here also!

DRYER "OH BOO"

2009-05-14T00:01:00.000-05:00

have you ever turned the dryer on believing there was clothing inside that you forgot about to just do a quick 15 minute fluffing and open the dryer when the cycle is over and it's empty? yeah, me too.

...oh boo...

NATIONALITY CRISIS "OH BOO"

2009-05-11T08:00:00.002-05:00

my husband and his friends are about the best people on the planet to be around. men having fun with men has to be one of the greatest visuals to behold.

he and his friends have special titles of endearment they use for one another - if women did this there'd be a cat fight or worse, but men can call each other ANYTHING and no offense will be taken.

one friend in party cooler and he call each other the very same thing time and again for 20 years. our little goofy guy, nancson, grew up hearing this banter from the cradle until present.

when nancson was in kindergarten his teacher called me in for a conference. she was concerned with a project the children were given to explain what nationality they were and which side of their families were what.

they were to draw a picture of their family and the teacher would label the mother and father's nationalities - "okay, nancson - what's your mother's nationality?" "she's indian and irish." "and your father's" "he's a hick so i'm an indian/irish/hick!"

...oh boo...

then he went on to argue with her...

...oh boo...

that was kindergarten and in a week he graduates from high school - where did the time go? i want my little indian/irish/hick back...sigh...

MOTHER'S DAY "OH BOO"

2009-05-10T11:04:00.002-05:00

when nancdaughter the elder (hereinafter referred to as nte) was about six she went out hiking around our house in the mountains and came home with a jawbone very similar to the one above.

i told her it was nasty and to get rid of it. okay.

flash forward a few months - nte lost a tooth and i told her to put it into her "tooth pillow" - i'm sure you've seen them - they're a tiny four by five inch or so pillow with a little pocket on the front large enough to put a tooth and perhaps a quarter in.

that night i snuck into her room and reached under her pillow and got a case of "HOLY CRAPPE!" when not only the tooth pillow came out from under her pillow, but that six or seven inch jawbone AND wrapped around the jawbone a lengthy note for a six year old:

"dear tooth fairy - these are some mammals teeth i found in the woods. i know they're not mine, but leave me some extra money anyway and a pack of trident gum. thank you. nte"

...oh boo...

i still have the note and jawbone somewhere and run across them every now and again.

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

crossposted here.

SMELLY JELLY "OH BOO"

2009-05-07T00:01:00.000-05:00

first, a recipe for "smelly jelly" from one of my good neighbors - it's akin to the little jellied air fresheners you buy at the store for $4.00 for a two to four ounce container:

16 ounces water
4 envelopes plain knox gelatin
2 ounce bottle concentrated fragrance oil - can be purchased at walmart

4-5 half pint jelly-type jars.

in a saucepan you intend to use only for this recipe, combine water and gelatin and stir continually until dissolved with spoon you intend to use only for this recipe. remove from heat and stir in fragrance. (neighbor/friend - i improvised on your recipe if you're reading) pour into jars and place caps and rings atop tightly and they will seal over a period of 15 minutes or so.

you may also add embellishments to your smelly jelly - this last time i made the cinnamon apple and added a stick of cinnamon to each jar. DO NOT EAT! when you need to have some good smell somewhere like a bathroom, your car, laundry room, just open a jar and set it out. i also added food coloring to make it more appealing to the smell - red for cinnamon apple!

the gelatinous mixture will take a couple of weeks to nearly disappear into a round, hard disk about the size of the thickness of three poker chips*.

now, on to the gist of this post.

we're pranksters at our house - all our friends are pranksters - our children may be the worst or best pranksters depending upon how you look at it.

a week or so ago, one of my "smelly jellies" was in it's last* stage and i thought i'd pay pop back for the time he put the huge (six-inch) rubber spider into the toilet so it would be the first thing i saw upon lifting the seat - i put the red smelly jelly puck into the toilet in the cat's room (downstairs bathroom) and just waited until he freaked out about the red blob in the stool.

i waited and waited and waited...

a day or so i waited. nothing. no one was using the downstairs bathroom...hmmmmm...then i forgot about it.

well, a few nights ago i was coming in the patio door and pop's in the bathroom saying, "HOLY CRAPPE, WHAT?!? DID ONE OF YOU TAKE AN UNFLUSHABLE POOP IN HERE?!?" water was running all over the floor and into the kitchen; i'm shouting, "TAKE THE TANK LID OFF - STOP THE WATER! WHERE'S THE PLUNGER?!?" children running about - "WHAT'S THE MATTER?!?" "DON'T KNOW!"

we cleaned up the water and went about our business. four o'clock in the morning i spring awake and think to myself, "you put that smelly jelly puck into the toilet and it swelled up and clogged the crapper!" BWAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!

...oh boo...

how am i going to tell pop?

told him.

...oh boo...

SPOONS "OH BOO"

2009-05-05T08:51:00.004-05:00

at one of zgirl's birthday parties we played this game - i got to beat this one kid atop the head for about five minutes doing this prank - my abs felt a little tighter from the laughter afterward.

one of the girls at the party was a witness to the entire prank and when it was over said, "OOOOH! IT'S MY TURN - I WANT TO PLAY!"

...oh boo...

CELLPHONE CAMERA "OH BOO"

2009-05-04T00:01:00.000-05:00

took bertie-boy for a haircut a week or two ago - then i thought to myself, "you really should try using your cellphone camera and send pop a photo of bert!" okay. so i did.

i called pop and inquired, "did you get the photo of bert i sent to you on your cellphone?

"no, but i got a message, "PHOTO TOO LARGE TO RECEIVE", and i thought for sure i'd missed a picture of your girls!"

...oh boo...

NO NADS "OH BOO"

2009-05-01T07:31:00.004-05:00

have you ever had the occasion to be around someone who is constantly saying, "sorry." they could bump into a chair, "sorry." or cross your shadow, "sorry."? it just falls from their lips as though it was a lifeline or something.

we had a guest like that here awhile back and honestly, every tenth word out of their mouth was, "sorry." it's like, "you know!" in my book or, "right?" after every single sentence or question. ARGHHHHHHHH...is it talk like a pirate day?

anyhoo, at one point in his stay he was on the phone with his wife and this is where it gets pitiful and i wish he'd just gone outside to speak with her - you could see his tail disappear between his legs and listen to the groveling he was doing and every other word was, "sorry.". i was thoroughly embarrassed for him and had to go outside for a smoke. he later tried to explain it, but in my head i'm thinking, "this is none of my business. please don't say another word. DUUUUUUUUUDE - take your nads back! DEAR LORD! the woman probably beats him to keep him so SORRY!"

we have a rule at our house - no apologizing unless you're specific, do it face to face (no letters or texts), if you have to apologize for the same thing twice then you face severe consequences. it wasn't always like this - it somewhat evolved and works for us. the experience of being around this guy just cemented the fact that you shouldn't just willy-nilly throw out the word - it has meaning as renegade eye would say.

the free dictionary definition of sorry:

sor·ry (sr, sôr)
adj. sor·ri·er, sor·ri·est
1. Feeling or expressing sympathy, pity, or regret: I'm sorry I'm late.
2. Worthless or inferior; paltry: a sorry excuse.
3. Causing sorrow, grief, or misfortune; grievous: a sorry development.

...oh boo...

now, let's see what kind of crappe gets stirred up over this one!

BANDWIDTH "OH BOO"

2009-04-30T09:40:00.002-05:00

what does this even mean?

"Experts predict that consumer demand, already growing at 60 percent a year, will start to exceed supply as early as 2010 because of more people working online and the soaring popularity of bandwidth-hungry Web sites such as YouTube and services such as the BBC's iPlayer.

It will initially lead to computers being disrupted and going offline for several minutes at a time. Beginning in 2012, however, PCs and laptops are likely to operate at a much reduced speed, rendering the Internet an "unreliable toy."

HEY - I DIDN'T SIGN ON FOR THIS!!! CLEAN YOUR CACHES EVERYBODY!!! ...whatever that means?

...oh boo...

WHAT WILL I WEAR "OH BOO"?

2009-04-29T11:01:00.002-05:00

thought i'd go pick up my summer wardrobe after i did my regular household shopping yesterday as i had an extra $20.00.

now that may not seem like alot of money to try and buy an entire summer wardrobe, but my favorite little second hand store with new and used name brand clothing would certainly have EVERYTHING i needed.

this past winter, zgirl and i got multitudes of clothing for around $32.00 - american eagle, aeropostale, old navy, and other big name brands.

was i ever excited to finally make it to the front door only to find it LOCKED! the store front has super-blacked out windows so like a peeping tom, i put my face up to the window to look better inside - NOTHING - THERE WAS NOTHING IN THE STORE!

i'm going to have to wear LAST year's second hand clothing!

...oh boo...

T.V. CHURCH "OH BOO"

2009-04-26T09:36:00.002-05:00

pop and i were listening to and watching a sermon this morning and the topic was king solomon.

the pastor was going on and on about the attributes of solomon, stating he was more than likely richer than even bill gates AND warren buffet.

he had wisdom, could build the grandest of abodes, blah, blah...and then nancpop spouts out, "and he was quite the philanthropist - yeah, he had more stamps than ANYBODY in the world!"

i grimaced toward him and asked, "don't you mean philatelist?"

...oh boo...

HOTTER THAN PITS OF HELL "OH BOO"

2009-04-22T19:30:00.002-05:00

it was horrid hot here today and if it gets much over 80 degrees with the humidity it can make you nutz - nutz i tell you!

i decided it was a very good day to switch our system over to the a/c and spent the better part of the afternoon trying to do just that.

the bottom of that little doohickey is a fold down set of instructions and several thousand ways to set your system up - i printed the couple hundred page manual awhile back and one must be a tech wizard to even get past the table of contents so i thought i'd call the company and have them walk me through it as i could not get anything on it to work properly and it was 83 degrees IN THE HOUSE!

they had me on hold with some obnoxious elevator music and a little guy who'd come on and ask you to punch whatever number for whatever instrument you were calling about - one of them was "oxkillating" fans - of course i knew what he meant, but still got a huge laugh over that one while i was kept waiting for FORTY FIVE MINUTES!

the lady who finally answered had me do a couple of things and said it should begin working properly in 30 seconds to four minutes - nothing happened. she went on to explain our heat pump, the thermostat itself or something else major may be wrong with it and i'd need to call a carrier dealer to get it fixed.

never in my wildest imagination did i think it could be the little breaker box right next to the outdoor unit holding me up...until i decided to check it out and lo and behold it was turned OFF! WHY? i flipped the switch and now i'm loving the 74 degree air blowing out of all the vents.

an "oh boo" that turned into an "oh yay"!

now if we have another hard frost like two years ago the first part of may, the family can just put on their parkas and thermal socks because i'm not messing with the a/c until november!

...oh boo 4 them!...

BATHROOM RUG "OH BOO"

2009-04-21T09:13:00.001-05:00

i purchased the most wonderfully, thick rug with a waffle-type pattern a year or so ago for our bathroom and up until recently only needed to shake it out and since we only have clean feet on it it stayed quite nice until bertie puked on it the other night.

it WAS a two and a half foot by four foot simply lush cottony texture about an inch thick.

pop cleaned up what he could of the mess and we threw it into the wash. when i pulled the rug out of the washer there was a mountain of fibers left behind and the rug now looks like a placemat.

on the back of the rug on a little tag, "DRY CLEAN ONLY!"

...oh boo...

note: see "are people really that stupid" post below.

DOG ATE MY HOMEWORK "OH BOO"

2009-04-20T07:39:00.003-05:00

imagine it - sicily, 1942...oops! different story.

this is a three part "oh boo" and in part being posted as pop and i were reminiscing and laughing our hind ends off yesterday to and from church and i told him i needed to etch a couple of these into www stone before i remember to forget them.

i used to work for a large welfare agency back in the day and if you don't think we'd get some of the dayamdest callers - i'd sometimes put some of them on hold, dance around the room, shouting, "ARE PEOPLE REALLY THIS STUPID?!?"

case in point (and i've changed the surname somewhat to protect the idiots) - this lady called for some reason or another and said, "hello, my name's sherry bnodfulweuyfhf and i need to talk to my worker." "could you please spell your full name for me so i can direct this call to your worker?" her response, "S-H-E-R-R-Y - that's sherry!" "yeah?" "yes, (and she spoke) sherry bnodfulweuyfhf!" OH YAY!

another time this woman called in as she hadn't received her check on the first - the reason you DON'T receive your check ON THE FIRST is because you failed to send in your income report the prior month by the fifth of the month. mind you this is a month later. so i pulled her case file and informed her of that and her check would be held until which time she turned in her income report.

she started whining about being in a wreck the previous weekend (a MONTH AFTER the income report is due, mind you). i asked her what this information had to do with her not turning in her income report. she responded, "well, you know that wreck yesterday where the car went into the river from the such and such bridge?" "um, no - it's only monday and i haven't read the paper today." "well that was me and my income report is in the glove box. i need my check." puts putz on hold. HELLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP?!?!?!? maintains composure, "have they pulled your car from the water yet?" "no, not yet - my income report is still in the glove box." puts putz on hold. BWAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! "you must be into this office before 11:00 a.m. and fill out an income report if you'd like your check released by 2:00 p.m. - otherwise you have to wait until tomorrow." "but, but, but it's in the glove box!" HOLY CRAPPE!

sometimes we'd get 75 calls a day just like those two and if i ever find the steno pads where i kept track of ALL calls you will see a book for sale on the sidebar!

another time while working for another government agency we had a freak snowfall - out of nowhere it came. people were losing their minds all over town and not just our town, surrounding towns and even the towns which were used to snow now and then.

this lady called our office when she couldn't get ahold of her local office and asked me what the weather was going to be - puts lady on hold - "WHO THE HELL DO I LOOK LIKE - WILLARD SCOTT?!?" demurely gets back on phone, "ma'am - do you have curtains or blinds?" "well, i've got blinds, why do you ask?" "are they open or closed?" "they're closed." "okay, i'm going to put you on hold so you can go over and open them and i'll be back in a moment." by this time everyone in the building can sense my disdain AND joy. i left her on hold for quite awhile really hoping she'd just realize how utterly ridiculous the call she made to me was, but no, she was there when i returned. "hello, are your blinds open?" "why yes they are now!" "okay, now what's the weather doing outside?" "IT'S SNOWING!" "then ma'am, it's probably snowing today. you have a great day and stay off the roads if at all possible."

...oh boo...

ENABLER BERTIE "OH BOO"

2009-04-16T10:12:00.007-05:00

this dog is an attention whore and has pop spoiled rotten and also makes pop think HE'S being obedient when he gives him a schnack!

...oh boo...

WATER BOTTLES "OH BOO"

2009-04-13T08:11:00.001-05:00

it's the day after "good" friday and before "resurrection" sunday and a perfectly gorgeous day. pop and zgirl have decided to go golfing which is just as well as i am up to my eyeballs in alligators - very busy.

before going to the golf course, pop had to go to the lumber yard to get a piece of 1/4" fancy-schmancy plywood to put behind the entertainment center he's been building.

we're out of the 16 ounce water bottles so we call him to pick a case up. mind you, we don't do this all the time - approximately once every other month and then we clean them and i refill them halfway and put them into the freezer and we add water when we want one. the bottles begin to look a little worse for the wear, but if my family's drinking water i know they're not drinking soda. we do have a huge canister full of those water booster flavor packets they'll use once in awhile.

right before leaving, zgirl takes two of the water bottles into the kitchen, opens them and dumps them out - i say, "HEY! WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!?" to which she sweetly replies, "i don't like the water that comes in the bottles so i always dump it out and put our water in." "oh."

...boo...

"OH BOO" FUEL UP!

2009-04-09T11:20:00.000-05:00

yup. at least once every other week or three i use this tactic to keep my children from being so clingy:

when i go to fuel up one of the rigs, as i approach the cash register, the clerk will ask, "did you have gas on pump number three?"

i always respond, "yes, but i'm over it now - thank you for asking."

...oh boo...

"OH "BOO" MOMENT 031009

2009-04-03T09:00:00.000-05:00

tonight i made cheddar/broccoli soup for supper with some homemade croutons to top it with, although someone else made the croutons...

pop smothered his with some slap ya mama! hot seasoning. apparently some of it globbed up and he got it with his last bite - all of a sudden he turned red and started hacking like a cat trying to get rid of a furball!

i asked him, "ARE YOU OKAY?!?" i was ready to put the smackdown on him and do mouth-to-mouth...like most of the time.

hand in air, he replied, "oh man, that "slap ya mama" hit me in the vulva!"

my astonished reply, "you mean UVULA!!!"

him, "yeah, yeah - that's what i thought you meant i heard you say...blah...blah...blah..." (his standard reply when butchering the english/latin languages - he'd make norm crosby seem almost normal sometime)

...oh boo...

"OH BOO" CONTINUATION

2009-04-01T09:40:00.003-05:00

i'm sure you remember the outrageous water bill oh boo?

the bill went down TEN DOLLARS the next month! yay!

here's the thing (because you're asking yourself, "what's the thing?") - since we've turned the faucets off, if the cats run out of water during the day they tend to destroy the bathtubs and sinks in the bathrooms - pulling everything within sight over in search of water.

there's always water in bertie-boys dog dish, but do you think the cats would drink after a DAWG?!? no, they'd sooner drink out of the toilet the two children have decided to leave open for just that purpose.

...oh nasty boo...

"OH BOO" MOMENT 041508

2009-03-30T08:30:00.000-05:00

nancpop was having a conversation with the four year old son of his boss who has picked up the fishing bug lately.

pop'll take our children and the neighbor children and anybody who wants to go to the pond on the land belonging to his boss. the four year old always wants to tag along so he's welcome - hey, it's his land too!

back to the conversation. pop asked the four year old how many fish he caught on his last fishing trip to the pond and he said he'd caught three or four. then pop asked, "and, how many did your daddy catch?" "none."

"now, why do you suppose he's not catching any fish and you are?"

the four year old in all his wisdom, "he just doesn't know what he's doing!"

...oh boo...

"OH BOOs" 032709

2009-03-27T22:44:00.003-05:00

despite the threatening weather today, we decided to go to silver dollar city in branson as little was meeting up with her church folk for young christian's weekend. we're quite used to being ditched shortly after entering so we tend to go our merry way, enjoying what WE like to do - eat, watch people, eat, go watch a show, eat, go watch another show, eat, ride the train, eat, go to the bathroom...and this is where it usually gets interesting.

i was headed to the bathroom to wash up after a snack while nancpop spotted the chilluns about to board one of my favorite scary rides and wanted to get photos of them and some of their old friends from another church. along the way i passed this couple seated at a bench and the man got up with a bag similar to the one above and set it down next to his wife - she gave him a "look" and he said, "please keep an eye on that for me." to which she responded, "i'm NOT carrying your manbag for you today!"

...first oh boo...

we're home now settling in when pop's cell phone gets a message - he was thinking it might be zgirl returning his message to her, but it was our friend the badger and his message was:

"you awake?"

pop's message back:

"nope."

...second oh boo...

for some reason this tickled me to my core - i couldn't stop laughing and then pop looked at me and said, "i know what the badger's thinking, "DAYAM! i REALLY wanted to talk to him!""

...third oh boo...

great weekend to y'all!

ROCKY ROAD "OH BOO"

2009-03-24T12:01:00.000-05:00

short story long scenario:

in the second week of february, 2009, an ice storm went through this part of the state and although we had no idea the damage it did other than the area we live...we found that the area where our cabin is suffered much more so than the insulated little area we live now.

we've been spending quite a bit of time there in the past few weeks dragging limbs and brush, burning, raking and just making ourselves tired from saturday through sunday. amazingly enough not one single limb or tree came down and crushed the cabin - we had ONE bend in our rain gutter that nancpop forced back into place. the ONLY devastating instance of destruction was that a not-so-mighty (14" base) oak snapped and took our phone and power out, but alas, not before the power went out to the area for the week - so we had no hot wires flopping about on the ground.

the cabin has been running off extension cords from the power pole, which is a pain in the arse, mostly because of the refrigerator - you cannot run a microwave, the ceiling fan, a heater in the bathhouse, or a television without tripping a breaker and stumbling around in the dark with a flashlight to turn everything back on!

there is a routine to every trip to the mountain. first, get there! unload the vehicle, start a fire in the woodstove or turn on the a/c (whichever the weather calls for - we used BOTH this weekend past), put all the groceries away, take all the bedding out, put towels and toiletries in the bathhouse, pump water from tanks to holding barrels in bathhouse, begin the water heating process which usually takes the better part of a day as we heat it in a five gallon stock pot, fill the bird feeders - and for the most part these past several weeks, cut limbs, drag brush, rake until you think your arms will fall off, and if by good fortune it is or has been raining - start some bigarse fires!

sunday morning on my way to the bathhouse i noticed that one of my feeders on a pole stuck in a stump was bent completely over to the ground - perplexed i asked pop, "how on earth do you think THAT happened?" he had no good answer so we went about our day well into the evening until we were just dog-tired enough to sit down, eat and watch a movie - no yahtzee this time.

monday morning found us packing up, making sure all the propane was turned off, things unplugged, make sure all leaf and debris fires were out - and of course, pop had to go check his deer feeding areas and as i'm going toward the front door to carry something to the deck, here he comes with a big turd in his hands and asks, "do you know what this is?" "i'm sure it's a rocky road candy bar with sunflower seeds instead of nuts in it.", thinking to myself, but thought better and allowed my demure side to kick in, "why no - what is it?" "it's a bear turd, pretty fresh too i might add - probably laid just since we've been here. when i broke it open, it was still oozy on the inside which means probably less than 48 hours old." "oh." "do you know how i know?" "no." "well, a bear and a cow are the only animals that poop like this and you don't see any cows out there, now do you?" "no."

"that bear is more than likely the animal that pulled your feeder over to the ground the first night we were here." "really?" "here, smell it (handing it out to me)." "not even with YOUR nose!"

the first night we were there found me out in the bathhouse with no weapon save my cellphone - i had to walk right past that feeder on my way back into the cabin. i'm thinkin' that bear must've heard of me - that or there was a renegade cow on the loose with opposable thumbs and the ability to stand up to a six foot height and pull that feeder and pole clean over to the ground...

...oh boo...

note to self: take gun to bathhouse.

"OH BOO" REFI

2009-03-20T08:44:00.002-05:00

okay - so we get a GREAT deal on this house and the loan's in order. DON'T make this month's payment, first bank tells us, as the house will be paid in the loan and a new set of payments will be scheduled. no problem we say and go on our merry way making sure everything is in order. emphasis mine throughout.

march 17, 2009

nancfamily
assumed loan #xxxxxxx from sellers
p.o. box xxxx
xxxxxxxxxx,AR xxxxx

dear nancfamily:

our records show that you have not made the payment which is due on 03/06/09 for loan #xxxxxxx. the account is past due. this letter is just a reminder that a payment of $62,591.41 will bring your account up to date.

yes, we know it's past due - you told us to NOT make the payment as everything is in order...well until you found there was a problem and that our neighbor had already bought our house and we would be buying his. but i'll get a check for $62,591.00 in the mail to you posthaste as i have an extra sitting about.

we are sure this is just an oversight and you wish to make your payment on a timely basis to avoid possible late charges and to protect your credit rating.

oversight on whose part? what are the late charges on $62,591.41? just out of curiosity...

if you have any questions about your loan or need additional information, please call us at your convenience. if you've already sent us your payment, please disregard this notice.

we already called you. and as soon as i scrape together the other $0.41 i'll get it right on down to the bank!

thank you for your business.

oh, no, no, no, thank you.

xxxxxxx x. xxxxxxxxxx

...oh boo...

"oh boo" moment 011508

2009-03-15T22:25:00.001-05:00

okay, so the other night when we were on our way to the school play, as we zipped through the 25 mph posted sign, i said to nancpop, "HEY! it's 25 here, put the car in second and that insures you don't go over the speed limit!"

in his most masculine voice he "shushed" me and said, "QUIET WOMAN!" i allow him to do this to soothe his masculine ego..."okay..." i was thinking in my mind.

but first, this message from another "oh boo" moment:

a few years ago, the school band teacher insulted zgirl in front of the whole class and hurt her feelings needlessly and after she told me about it, i said, "don't worry about it, he will be taken care of - it's not our battle."

monday morning, his wife (the other band teacher) said that over the weekend he ran over a ground hornet nest and ended up in the hospital in anaphylactic shock from the multitudes of stings he'd received...oh boo...

my husband said that i needed to STOP putting whammies on everyone! and i responded that i DON'T put whammies on anybody, as that was not my job.

okay, back to the original story.

as a woman, it is my duty to do a little backseat driving - after all, i AM in the backseat (by choice as the seats are more comfortable) and while on our way to the school play i suggested we were going a little fast for town...

after mulling this over for a day or so, i said out loud, "Lord, please give pop a wake-up call and make him slow down before somebody gets hurt!" i did this two other times and he was pulled over and warned each time.

this evening, as we were visiting about all our days held for us - out of the blue he said, "you're not going to like this, but i got a speeding ticket today."

well, i started laughing my tail end off! earlier that day i had told zgirl, "i hope your father gets a ticket for speeding - i don't know what else to do! he goes too fast and all the while talking on his cell phone! he needs a ticket - the warnings didn't work!"

after i told him about my incident with zgirl, he sunk back in his chair and i asked him, "are you going to slow down now?" he responded, "yes."

...oh boo...

p.s. - NO, i am NOT into voodoo, but believe wholeheartedly everything happens for a good reason and in all things i give thanks.

DUMBSH*T ATTACK OF THE WEEK "OH BOO"

2009-03-13T10:04:00.003-05:00

A Czech man who thoughtlessly handcuffed himself ended up at a police station begging for help but found little sympathy as the police took him for an escaped criminal, the CTK news agency said Friday.

cannot.

quit.

laughing!

reminds me of a story...

...oh boo...

BACKPACKING "OH BOO"

2009-03-10T10:55:00.005-05:00

last night pop and i were conversating about some of our favorite activities as youngsters - his was backpacking. not your ordinary packing, but packing with one of those huge military type packs such as the one above. he told me that sometimes his pack would weigh NINETY POUNDS!

...first oh boo...

i asked, "what'd you carry - cast iron skillets?" his response, "yes."

...second oh boo...

but then he got smart and started carrying lighter weight materials and i asked him which kind. to which he responded:

"loads of cup of ramen noodles, spanish peanuts, all my fishing gear, a bottle of peroxide, a sleeping bag, my hatchet, fillet knife, pocket knife, and a sewing kit."

"A SEWING KIT?!?"

"yes, a sewing kit - just in case i went wrong with the hatchet, fillet knife or pocket knife i could stitch myself up."

...final oh boo...

ARTSY-FARTSY "OH BOO"

2009-03-05T08:52:00.002-06:00

all names within this moment are made up to protect the innocent AND guilty.

yesterday, in one of nancson's honor's classes all the class was admiring previous art work done by other students. and no, it was not an art class.

one in party cooler was a still life of flowers and a couple of others were of barebreasted women.

the young men were all gaga over the barebreasted drawings and paintings, when the teacher, mr. so-and-so stated, "they are so perky!" at which time all the boys, including nancson, began busting up like teenage boys do. mr. so-and-so turned on them and said, "i was speaking of sylvia's flowers!"

...oh boo...

FROOFY GUY "OH BOO"

2009-03-02T21:58:00.003-06:00

for some strange reason all the neighborhood children like to hang about in OUR yard and in our home. oh sure - it doesn't help to have over 700 kidz' movies - three dogs two cats, and two teens but they visit nonetheless. did i mention the snackage?

well, here the other day one of the little fellers was too lazy to walk home so asked nancpop if he'd give him a ride in his truck - of course he could have walked as his house is only about a football field away.

they entered THE truck and the young man (nine year old) commented, "it sure smells purty in here, mr. nancpop..." nancpop being polite, "well, thank you jordan - it must be my new air freshener." jordan, "soooooo, it's a man truck on the outside and a girl truck on the inside?" same kid beat him at chess the other evening when we had their family over to share supper.

...oh boo...

sure wish they'd make an air freshener that smells like a man who's been sweating for the better part of twelve hours out in the hot sun...oh yeah, and with boots on - that's the one i'd have in my girly car.

HOLY CRAPPE "OH BOO"!

2009-02-27T12:26:00.003-06:00

PHOTO COURTESY: blogs.news.com.au/herald sun

no, really, "“Natural living” advocates unveil their latest planet-saving invention - the reusable toilet wipe."

oh goody - i can see the fight at my house right now:

"YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO FLUSH'EM!"

"well, i'mmmmmm not rinsing them out."

"neither am i!"

"why are we supposed to save something we've wiped our hind ends with?"

"MOMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!!!"

...oh boo...

a new label has been added "s.a.s." = stupidasssh*t - not to be confused with "s.a.s.s." = short attention span syndrome. carry on.

CREAMY SAUSAGE SOUP "OH BOO"

2009-02-23T16:04:00.005-06:00

in a deep cast iron skillet or dutch oven, brown one pound of spicy breakfast sausage over medium/high heat. sift one cup of flour into simmering sausage, being sure every bit of sausage is coated nicely and a thick paste is developing in the sausage grease - turn heat down to medium and add four cups of milk (you can dilute at ration of 2:2 with water). stir continuously reducing heat to low and allow mixture to thicken - this is where you salt and pepper if it's not seasoned enough for your tastebuds. NOTE: for thinner soup add more liquid, thicker less liquid, but never skimp on the sausage or flour!

PHOTO COURTESY: time, inc., recipes

serve in soup bowls and garnish with seasoned croutons or use hot rolls or biscuits for dipping - bon appetit!

wuh? what do you mean this SOUNDS like gravy?

...oh boo...

OUTRAGEOUS WATER BILL "OH BOO"

2009-02-22T14:18:00.000-06:00

one reason i love this time of year is that our water bill will USUALLY be about one-quarter to one-third less than in the warm months and that means i can put more money into pop's lunch cooler.

a couple of months ago (after our bill had gone down sufficiently) it suddenly went up about ten bucks so i went about outside looking for leaks and put my ears up to the walls inside the house to listen for running water - nothing. i checked to see if there was a rate increase i overlooked - nothing again.

last month the bill went up a few more dollars so i told everyone - FIVE MINUTE SHOWERS! THE WATER BILL IS OUTRAGEOUS! that lasted about a week or so. of course as i was muttering to myself, my family were rolling their eyes back and forth at one another surely thinking i'd gone nutzier.

i noticed a funny thing with mewna lisa and clawed mewnet (the cat bosses) - they kept coming out of our bathtubs and sinks looking all satisfied and one day, zgirl said, "mama, come and look at this - you're going to love it!" i went into their bathroom where the water was dripping out of the sink AND bathtub and the cats were lapping it up.

needless to say i was miffed and asked, "HOW LONG HAVE Y'ALL BEEN DOING THIS?" nancson, "for quite awhile, mama - why?"

"WTF - RICKEN' FRACKEN' - BRISTLE-FRATTIN' - WATER BILL - YOUR ALLOWANCE IS GOING TO BE DOCKED - I CHANGE THE WATER IN THE CAT'S BOWL TWICE A DAY - ARE YOU PEOPLE OUT OF YOUR EVERLOVIN' MAHNDS?!?" okay, so i didn't say WTF, but i was thinking it.

...oh boo...

i cannot WAIT to see this coming month's water bill.