Thursday, April 30, 2009

BANDWIDTH "OH BOO"

what does this even mean?

"Experts predict that consumer demand, already growing at 60 percent a year, will start to exceed supply as early as 2010 because of more people working online and the soaring popularity of bandwidth-hungry Web sites such as YouTube and services such as the BBC's iPlayer.

It will initially lead to computers being disrupted and going offline for several minutes at a time. Beginning in 2012, however, PCs and laptops are likely to operate at a much reduced speed, rendering the Internet an "unreliable toy."

HEY - I DIDN'T SIGN ON FOR THIS!!! CLEAN YOUR CACHES EVERYBODY!!! ...whatever that means?

...oh boo...

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

WHAT WILL I WEAR "OH BOO"?

thought i'd go pick up my summer wardrobe after i did my regular household shopping yesterday as i had an extra $20.00.

now that may not seem like alot of money to try and buy an entire summer wardrobe, but my favorite little second hand store with new and used name brand clothing would certainly have EVERYTHING i needed.

this past winter, zgirl and i got multitudes of clothing for around $32.00 - american eagle, aeropostale, old navy, and other big name brands.

was i ever excited to finally make it to the front door only to find it LOCKED! the store front has super-blacked out windows so like a peeping tom, i put my face up to the window to look better inside - NOTHING - THERE WAS NOTHING IN THE STORE!

i'm going to have to wear LAST year's second hand clothing!

...oh boo...

Sunday, April 26, 2009

T.V. CHURCH "OH BOO"

pop and i were listening to and watching a sermon this morning and the topic was king solomon.

the pastor was going on and on about the attributes of solomon, stating he was more than likely richer than even bill gates AND warren buffet.

he had wisdom, could build the grandest of abodes, blah, blah...and then nancpop spouts out, "and he was quite the philanthropist - yeah, he had more stamps than ANYBODY in the world!"

i grimaced toward him and asked, "don't you mean philatelist?"

...oh boo...

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

HOTTER THAN PITS OF HELL "OH BOO"



it was horrid hot here today and if it gets much over 80 degrees with the humidity it can make you nutz - nutz i tell you!

i decided it was a very good day to switch our system over to the a/c and spent the better part of the afternoon trying to do just that.

the bottom of that little doohickey is a fold down set of instructions and several thousand ways to set your system up - i printed the couple hundred page manual awhile back and one must be a tech wizard to even get past the table of contents so i thought i'd call the company and have them walk me through it as i could not get anything on it to work properly and it was 83 degrees IN THE HOUSE!

they had me on hold with some obnoxious elevator music and a little guy who'd come on and ask you to punch whatever number for whatever instrument you were calling about - one of them was "oxkillating" fans - of course i knew what he meant, but still got a huge laugh over that one while i was kept waiting for FORTY FIVE MINUTES!

the lady who finally answered had me do a couple of things and said it should begin working properly in 30 seconds to four minutes - nothing happened. she went on to explain our heat pump, the thermostat itself or something else major may be wrong with it and i'd need to call a carrier dealer to get it fixed.

never in my wildest imagination did i think it could be the little breaker box right next to the outdoor unit holding me up...until i decided to check it out and lo and behold it was turned OFF! WHY? i flipped the switch and now i'm loving the 74 degree air blowing out of all the vents.

an "oh boo" that turned into an "oh yay"!

now if we have another hard frost like two years ago the first part of may, the family can just put on their parkas and thermal socks because i'm not messing with the a/c until november!

...oh boo 4 them!...

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

BATHROOM RUG "OH BOO"

i purchased the most wonderfully, thick rug with a waffle-type pattern a year or so ago for our bathroom and up until recently only needed to shake it out and since we only have clean feet on it it stayed quite nice until bertie puked on it the other night.

it WAS a two and a half foot by four foot simply lush cottony texture about an inch thick.

pop cleaned up what he could of the mess and we threw it into the wash. when i pulled the rug out of the washer there was a mountain of fibers left behind and the rug now looks like a placemat.

on the back of the rug on a little tag, "DRY CLEAN ONLY!"

...oh boo...

note: see "are people really that stupid" post below.

Monday, April 20, 2009

DOG ATE MY HOMEWORK "OH BOO"

imagine it - sicily, 1942...oops! different story.

this is a three part "oh boo" and in part being posted as pop and i were reminiscing and laughing our hind ends off yesterday to and from church and i told him i needed to etch a couple of these into www stone before i remember to forget them.

i used to work for a large welfare agency back in the day and if you don't think we'd get some of the dayamdest callers - i'd sometimes put some of them on hold, dance around the room, shouting, "ARE PEOPLE REALLY THIS STUPID?!?"

case in point (and i've changed the surname somewhat to protect the idiots) - this lady called for some reason or another and said, "hello, my name's sherry bnodfulweuyfhf and i need to talk to my worker." "could you please spell your full name for me so i can direct this call to your worker?" her response, "S-H-E-R-R-Y - that's sherry!" "yeah?" "yes, (and she spoke) sherry bnodfulweuyfhf!" OH YAY!

another time this woman called in as she hadn't received her check on the first - the reason you DON'T receive your check ON THE FIRST is because you failed to send in your income report the prior month by the fifth of the month. mind you this is a month later. so i pulled her case file and informed her of that and her check would be held until which time she turned in her income report.

she started whining about being in a wreck the previous weekend (a MONTH AFTER the income report is due, mind you). i asked her what this information had to do with her not turning in her income report. she responded, "well, you know that wreck yesterday where the car went into the river from the such and such bridge?" "um, no - it's only monday and i haven't read the paper today." "well that was me and my income report is in the glove box. i need my check." puts putz on hold. HELLLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP?!?!?!? maintains composure, "have they pulled your car from the water yet?" "no, not yet - my income report is still in the glove box." puts putz on hold. BWAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! "you must be into this office before 11:00 a.m. and fill out an income report if you'd like your check released by 2:00 p.m. - otherwise you have to wait until tomorrow." "but, but, but it's in the glove box!" HOLY CRAPPE!

sometimes we'd get 75 calls a day just like those two and if i ever find the steno pads where i kept track of ALL calls you will see a book for sale on the sidebar!

another time while working for another government agency we had a freak snowfall - out of nowhere it came. people were losing their minds all over town and not just our town, surrounding towns and even the towns which were used to snow now and then.

this lady called our office when she couldn't get ahold of her local office and asked me what the weather was going to be - puts lady on hold - "WHO THE HELL DO I LOOK LIKE - WILLARD SCOTT?!?" demurely gets back on phone, "ma'am - do you have curtains or blinds?" "well, i've got blinds, why do you ask?" "are they open or closed?" "they're closed." "okay, i'm going to put you on hold so you can go over and open them and i'll be back in a moment." by this time everyone in the building can sense my disdain AND joy. i left her on hold for quite awhile really hoping she'd just realize how utterly ridiculous the call she made to me was, but no, she was there when i returned. "hello, are your blinds open?" "why yes they are now!" "okay, now what's the weather doing outside?" "IT'S SNOWING!" "then ma'am, it's probably snowing today. you have a great day and stay off the roads if at all possible."

...oh boo...

Thursday, April 16, 2009

ENABLER BERTIE "OH BOO"





this dog is an attention whore and has pop spoiled rotten and also makes pop think HE'S being obedient when he gives him a schnack!

...oh boo...

Monday, April 13, 2009

WATER BOTTLES "OH BOO"

it's the day after "good" friday and before "resurrection" sunday and a perfectly gorgeous day. pop and zgirl have decided to go golfing which is just as well as i am up to my eyeballs in alligators - very busy.

before going to the golf course, pop had to go to the lumber yard to get a piece of 1/4" fancy-schmancy plywood to put behind the entertainment center he's been building.

we're out of the 16 ounce water bottles so we call him to pick a case up. mind you, we don't do this all the time - approximately once every other month and then we clean them and i refill them halfway and put them into the freezer and we add water when we want one. the bottles begin to look a little worse for the wear, but if my family's drinking water i know they're not drinking soda. we do have a huge canister full of those water booster flavor packets they'll use once in awhile.

right before leaving, zgirl takes two of the water bottles into the kitchen, opens them and dumps them out - i say, "HEY! WHAT'RE YOU DOING?!?" to which she sweetly replies, "i don't like the water that comes in the bottles so i always dump it out and put our water in." "oh."

...boo...

Thursday, April 09, 2009

"OH BOO" FUEL UP!

yup. at least once every other week or three i use this tactic to keep my children from being so clingy:

when i go to fuel up one of the rigs, as i approach the cash register, the clerk will ask, "did you have gas on pump number three?"

i always respond, "yes, but i'm over it now - thank you for asking."

...oh boo...

Friday, April 03, 2009

"OH "BOO" MOMENT 031009

tonight i made cheddar/broccoli soup for supper with some homemade croutons to top it with, although someone else made the croutons...

pop smothered his with some slap ya mama! hot seasoning. apparently some of it globbed up and he got it with his last bite - all of a sudden he turned red and started hacking like a cat trying to get rid of a furball!

i asked him, "ARE YOU OKAY?!?" i was ready to put the smackdown on him and do mouth-to-mouth...like most of the time.

hand in air, he replied, "oh man, that "slap ya mama" hit me in the vulva!"

my astonished reply, "you mean UVULA!!!"

him, "yeah, yeah - that's what i thought you meant i heard you say...blah...blah...blah..." (his standard reply when butchering the english/latin languages - he'd make norm crosby seem almost normal sometime)

...oh boo...

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

"OH BOO" CONTINUATION

i'm sure you remember the outrageous water bill oh boo?

the bill went down TEN DOLLARS the next month! yay!

here's the thing (because you're asking yourself, "what's the thing?") - since we've turned the faucets off, if the cats run out of water during the day they tend to destroy the bathtubs and sinks in the bathrooms - pulling everything within sight over in search of water.

there's always water in bertie-boys dog dish, but do you think the cats would drink after a DAWG?!? no, they'd sooner drink out of the toilet the two children have decided to leave open for just that purpose.

...oh nasty boo...